You Ran Your Fingers Through My Soul (A Draco Malfoy Love Story)
by kdxoxo
Summary: Love is something universally known yet undefined. The choices we make with love pave the way for our destiny.
1. Foreign Affairs

And so it starts

I hear my alarm clock going off.

It's September 1st, and I'm in my London hotel getting reading for my 6th year of magical studies. I'm being transferred to Hogwarts in England, certain issues have rose up in my family and I've been called from America where I've lived since I was nearly an infant.

I get up slowly, looking around my small room. A picture of a flower hangs drearily on the wall, and other than that it's pretty barren. My trunk is closed tight and my cat lays lazily on top of it.

"C'mon, I can't be late for the station" I say pushing her off, even though I doubt she knows what's really going on.

I get dressed quickly and grab my things. I feel so utterly small in a big city like London, especially when I'm all alone.

Once at the station I make my way shyly down the long walkways until I reach platform nine, scanning for the wall I was told to go through. I see it quickly, watching some other girls run through, and then I do the same.

The Hogwarts Express stands gleaming like a giant ruby before my eyes. The steam pours out of it steadily, covering the platform in a spooky dusting of grayness. It's almsot unbelievable that all these people can fit onto one train platform, seeing as the platform isn't that large yet everywhere you look you can see hundreds and hundreds of heads. I leave my stuff with everything else, my cat with the other pets, and make my way onto the train. It's funny, this is where my parents met. So much has changed since then. Before we get any further I should probably explain some minor details about my situation.

I don't remember how old I was when my mother died, not much older than three I suppose. She was a pure blood witch, having been raised in America just as I have, but she was transferred to Hogwarts when she was around my age, that's where she met her husband, my father. They lived together in England and had me, but soon after I was born things began to get ugly. She fled England from her husband when she realized what he was becoming, her husband Tom Riddle. Yes, I Kady Gardner am the lone child of Lord Voldemort. Believe me when I say that just because he's my father it doesn't mean I support his cause in any way, I despise all the things he's done and despise the fact that I have to be related to a murderer. But he is my father and I have no choice other than to accept that fact. Though he's cold and cruel, sometimes he'll show some warmth towards me.

Those occasions are very rare though, my father is over protective and obsessed with the idea of having me as his right-hand "general". He constantly uses curses on me, mostly the Cruciatus. I have plenty of scars and bruises on me from all of my ordeals with him ever since he came back a few years ago. Oh well, there goes his nomination for father of the year award. I only really met him two years ago though, when he returned. He came and found me, told me everything. I've been seeing him sparaticallly ever since.

Time seems to slow down as I remember that night .. the night I first saw him ..

2 Years ago, Boston

"Kady, come over here" Aunt Rosa shouts, her sweet voice ringning through the door. She's not really my aunt though, rather an affectionate nickname.

"Yeah hold on"

I finish what I'm doing at walk annoyed over to the kitchen where she sits, expecting to be asked about some chore.

"Sweetheart sit down"

Her voice is shaking, and I realize now that she's white as a sheet, even though her Italian genes have given her dark skin.

"What's wrong?" I ask immediatley, slipping into a chair.

"There's something .. there's something I should have told you a while ago" She sputters, resisting my aggitated eyes.

"What?" I snap, impatient, my stomach twisted like a knot.

"Your father is here" She whimpers.

I can feel my own eyes grow wide as her words run through my head. Father? He's never cared about me, I don't even know his name, no one ever told me.

"Where?" I whisper, eyeing the empty kitchen.

At that instant a breeze of air flows through the room and I see Rosa's eyes roll back into her head, not from sickness but from ... fear.

"Katherine" A voice echoes out from behind me, a voice that sounds as if it could rattle the gates of hell.

I jump up at turn around, almost falling to my knees as I see the hooded figure that stands tall above me standing in the doorway.

"Wha...wha...what is this.." I whimper, terrified but strangely curious.

His red eyes pierce me as they look me up and down, studying me. Then, they lock with my own eyes.

"As you may well know, I haven't exactly been able to make contact with you in the past years"

"I was never told you couldn't, I was told you wouldn't"

He stares for a second, then it looks like something clicks.

"You mean .. you don't know who I am?"

I shake my head.

"My name is Tom Riddle, but the world better knows me as .. Lord Voldemort"

Time seems to slow down as I drop to me knee's .. as he hovers over me .. as I scream

King's Cross Station, London

I snap back into reality and rush into the first empty seat I see.

I'm alone for a few minutes, people don't really bother with me, but as I sit in my compartment I notice someone standing right outside my doorway. A tall figure, handsomely poised. His striking blonde hair almost takes me aback, it's almost to perfect, he must color it. The man looks around nervously, kind of like he's trying to hide from someone. I open the door slightly and with all the courage I posses I quietly tell him that if he has no where to sit he's welcome to sit with me. He stares down at me and for a second I see a glance of pure disbelief cross his face. He looks over his shoulder once more and then enters my compartment. Slowly he sits down across from me and places a small black bag on the seat.

"Don't feel obliged, it just looked liked you needed a place to sit" I say.

Before answering me he surveys me from bottom to top, I feel the heat of embarrassment rising.

"You're new" He finally says but not as a question form, rather as a statement he's already found the answer to.

"Yes, I'm going in as a 6th year"

"Well well, that makes the two of us"

I don't answer him, I can't seem to find the rights words. I'm officially taken aback by this man, he's got to be one of the most handsome men I've ever laid eyes on. My God, his eyes shine so brightly!

"Who are you?" I say in a tone a bit more forward than I meant it to come off as.

"My name is Draco" he says without any trace if amiability.

"Nice to meet you Draco, my name is Katherine Gardner but I prefer to be called Kady, pronounced like Katie but spelt with a D and a Y"

"Do I need to point out how how to spell my name? Or are you okay?" He says sarcastically while giving a slight smirk.

Oh joy, someone who shares my love of sarcasm.

I just roll my eyes and give a faint smile, just so he gets the idea I'm in on his sardonic tones.

"What's wrong? No sense of humor?" He snaps. I can't tell whether he's serious or just joking. God I hate those situations.

"My sense of humor is perfectly in tact, I just prefer not to answer those who mock me. It adds an air of mystery to my character. Wouldn't you agree?"

He doesn't answer, but he slowly surverys me from top to bottom.

What's he thinking?

"What's wrong, no sense of humor?" I smirk.

Again, he doesn't answer me but instead locks his eyes with mine. A deep shiver runs down my body.

"I think you and I could make great friends Kady, that is if you're in Slytherin" He says almost in a whisper with what I think is an evil undertone.

"You're very prejudiced against the other houses, aren't you?"

"I forgot you're new .. you'll learn how things at Hogwarts work sooner or later"

What's the big deal if I'm in Slytherin or not? All of a sudden I get irritated, why does Draco care so much about houses? Are all students like him? If I'm not in Slytherin will I not be able to talk to him?

"Well I'm not very patient so I think I'll go around and see what I can figure out" I snap, getting up and heading for the door.

But before I can get out, he speaks again. "And your seat? I can't promise you it won't be filled when you return"

"If I return" I say, laughing lightly.

I'm out the door before he can answer.

There was something unsettling about him. Anyways, who names their son Draco. I never got a chance to catch his last name, must be pretty bad if he didn't bother to tell me.


	2. The Poisonous Pansy

I do walk around quite a bit. I don't say much to anyone, I've always had a crushing case of shyness. Even when I was talking to that boy, Draco, on the outside I seem edgy and confident but on the inside I'm having an anxiety attack. This have prevented me from ever having many friends.

Finally I decide to turn around and head back over to where Draco was, atleast I made some headway with him.

It turns out, my seat is filled when I return. A girl with dark brown hair and dog-like little nose sits across from Draco with her hand on his knee.

Oh .. uh that's kind of awkward.

I walk right past the compartment and pray that Draco doesn't see me. How was I suppose to know he had a girlfriend? And the last thing I need is drama before we even reach the school.

I think I'm safe, but hear the door slam open behind me.

"Kady .. you can still sit here" Draco tells me, my back still turned to him.

"Oh no it's fine, I can see you have uh .. company"

Before he can answer the girl sticks out her head, our eyes meet as we turn to face one another.

"What do you mean she can sit with us? This is our time"

"Pansy, I told you before the Summer ended I wasn't looking for a relationship! You know I have things going on"

"Well that doesn't mean you can go running around with American whores!"

You've got to be kidding me.

"How dare you, are you really that ignorant? Don't judge me before you know me, seeing as you're the one chasing a guy who clearly doesn't like you. Get a life, as this one doesn't quite seem to be working out for you, bitch"

And with that I turn around and I'm about to leave the cart, but I hear Draco's voice echoing off the walls.

"Christ Pansy could you give me a break! I'll be back with Goyle and Crabbe in a minute, meet me there."

She huffs and stalks out of the cart.

I turn around to look at him and I'm surprised by his expression. He looks like he's about to cry, his eyes are dialated and his lips pout down.

"She's not my girlfriend"

"I would be sorry for you if she was"

He smiles at this and his eyes meet mine.

My knees suddenly start to wobble and my heart begins to race. His eyes are so sad yet so.. sexy.

"I should probably go then" He says reluctantly.

"You're wanted elsewhere" I smile back at him.

We both turn our backs and walk out of seperate car doors, leaving the air heavy with unsaid words.


	3. A New House

For the rest of the train ride I sat in quiet seclusion in the compartment that Draco had left. The scent of his cologne hung around me, and I couldn't help but wish I had said more, had been sweeter. Would he have stayed with me if I had?

No matter, I'm now in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, awaiting my turn to be put in my house. My heart is beating rapidly and I'm terrified. So many new people of whom I don't know a single one, unless you count Draco. I want to bolt out, but I can't. Hogwarts is my home now, there's no going back to America.

I watch Dumbledore emerge and speak to the crowd of students. His ivory beard hangs down, softly mingling with the deep blue silk of his robe. He's the perfect image of a wizard.

But he knows.

He knows Voldemort has an American daughter named Katherine Gardner. Father has told me so and has told me to stay clear of him. Yet I can't help thinking about how nice Dumbledore seems, his eyes glistening with kindness.

The first years go up one by one, each shaking in their shoes with nerves. The end of the alphabet comes, and I'm up. Okay, my name is called but I'm not nervous, I'm going to be sorted into Slytherin. I have most of the qualities anyways, ambition is a definite.

Dumbledore's face says the same thing. I quickly look around and see bored faces, not realizing how terrifying I could be to them if they knew. Then I see Draco.

His eyes intently watching, while Pansy is sitting next to him. Strange enough, I feel a sting.

No! what am I thinking. I'm not his girlfriend, not even his friend.

The hat is placed on me, giving me the uncomfortable feeling of it shifting around my head. It then begins to speak to me, only to me.

"Don't fret now, you can be sure I'll put you exactly where you're supposed to be. Hufflepuff? I think not. Ravenclaw... Ravenclaw... No. Down I two now, very close. I see you have ambition, much ambition. It must run in the family. You are cunning to say the least. You'd be well off in Slytherin I think... But wait. You have a clean heart, something not many Slytherins possess, a unique bunch they are, you're not like them.. I see. GRYFFINDOR!"

Wait, what?

I'm..speechless, flabbergasted, afraid of what my father might do, yet...happy though. I glance proudly at Dumbledore and he's glowing as bright as the sun. With a wink of his eye, I know I'll be fine at Hogwarts.. just fine.

Trying to force myself not to look at Draco, I lose the battle. Looking over, Draco is staring down at his plate, a scowl playing over his handsome face. I laugh a little, he looks like a child who was just denied desert. My laughter deflates. Pansy is whispering in his ear then looking over to where I stand. I turn away as fast as I can and rush over to the Gryffindor table and sit down next to a very nice, bushy haired girl with a sweet face. "Hello! My name is Hermoine! You must be the new Ameri-, "she cuts herself off and instead says" new student!".

"Yeah, I'm American, my name's Kady, I'm a sixth year". Hermoine's face is flushes as she knows she was caught in her speech mistake, although I have no problem with being refered to as the "American". "Oh that's great!, we're 6th years too!" says a smiling ginger. I smile back, then see Harry Potter.

Instantly, I choke on my drink as I see him. "That's Harry, Harry Potter"

The level of awkwardness that's here right now is off the scales, though I'm the only one who can see it. My father killed .. he killed Harry's parents .. and now were just sitting here facing eachother so casually.

"So, we hear you've had a bloody good start to the year!" Ron cut's in. My confused face silently tells him to continue. "Mouthing off Pansy Parkinson in front of that ole' snake Malfoy?" Everyone laughs. "Oh, that, yeah I did, but is Malfoy that bad?" I say, thinking of Draco. He did say he was prejudiced against other houses. "BAD?" Harry laughs. "Malfoy's been insulting us ever since our 1st year, he's not very good at communicating emotions" Hermoine says and sighs at the same time. "Oh" I mumble.

Disappointed from hearing about Draco's reputation and just plain wiped from all of todays activites, I'm happy when we're dismissed to our Common Rooms.


	4. Harry's Joy

It's been about a week since I've arrived at Hogwarts, and so far it's been pretty promising. I've been having a lot of trouble getting to my classes, considering Hogwarts is about the size of Canada. Though Hermione and most of the Gryffindors have been helping me greatly.

I have just about every class with Draco, but ever since the first night we got here he hasn't said a word to me. I guess he really wasn't kidding when he said I could only be his friend if I was in Slytherin. I mean I only knew him for about an hour, but it still kind of stings he could just throw me away like that because I'm classified as a Gryffindor.

Someone I have been talking to very much though is Harry Potter. He's intelligent, kind, and really charming. I just can't seem to get over the guilt. I haven't mentioned anything to him, obviously. It's been a good week, but considerably long. My eyes can barely stay open and I feel like I'm going to pass out at any second, but I just can't seem to go to bed. Some sort of invisible force is keeping me up. I decide to go downstairs and sit in one of those giant armchairs, maybe they'll do me good. I look at the clock, squinting to make out the time, three. It's then that I hear footsteps in the shadows near the dormitory. A young man steps out, who is that.. I can't make anything out in this- it's Harry. "Oh, Kady, I didn't think anyone else would be awake." I have a feeling he might be telling me a lie. "It's okay Harry, I just can't go to sleep at the moment.". "Yeah? Me neither, there's a lot.. on my mind.." "Well, being the chosen one, I would think so" Harry pauses for a moment, and I regret saying anything about the subject. Not that its sensitive for me, my father can die at the hands of Harry Potter and I'll just laugh and go on with life. ""Do, do you believe that? I'm the chosen one?" He says suddenly "I believe whatever I think makes sense, so yes of course I do, you're the only one who has ever survived a killing curse. But hey, don't worry that much about it, Voldemort is weaker than he makes himself out to be.. I mean I think he is..." Harry lifts his head up, his expression one of shock. "So you're not afraid to say his name are you?" I laugh. "Afraid? Psst it' just a word" He smirks. "Well that makes two of us then" The rest of the night is spent having very interesting conversations with Harry. The guilt I felt earlier starting to disappear as I grow more comfortable with him. After a few hours, I look back at the clock. 6 am. All nighter at Hogwarts! Hell yes. "It's getting really late, or early, I should go, it was nice talking to you." I say smiling, letting out a yawn right afterwards. Harry doesn't answer me, so I just stand up and start walking towards the dormitory.

Before I know whats happening, Harry has me pulled into his arms in a sweet lip-lock. I'm shocked, not happy at all, and disgusted, but I don't pull away. Why should I? I'm kissing Harry Potter right? This will make a cool story for my grandkids.

Harry suddenly pulls away, his face turning red. "I'm, I'm sorry.. I just... had too" He mumbles turning, around. "No, it's alright Harry.. don't be sorry" I say before I know what I'm really saying, then it's too late. Harry Looks up at me, directly in the face. "Well then, would you give me a chance? I mean we've known eachother very shortly but I think we could be something ... Go out with me" I can't, I absolutley cannot go out with him. I don't love him. I said he was charming but uh .. not that charming. But... it could be like me repaying him for what my father did.. and is doing.. Oh crap. "Yes" The words come out of me without restraint. What the.. no, no no, I just said yes to a man just to secretly pay him back? Oh no. Harry smiles wide and comes up for another kiss, I still don't pull away. Well then, pretty exciting night. "I'll see you at breakfast" He says, then trots off for the boys dormitory. Well, by breakfast, the whole school snows.

Everyone looks at Harry and I as we sit down. It makes me feel really uncomfortable actually. I make it through breakfast all smiles but I need to leave early .. just to get some air.

I sit down on a small mossy bench under an oak tree. I'm barely there for a few seconds before I hear a voice behind me, Draco's voice. "You know, I'm not really used to letting Potter get the new girls" He says while taking a bite out of a shiny green apple. "I'm disappointed Draco, get your head back in the game. It's too late for me of course, as I can see you've heard." He sits down right beside me, throwing the apple over his shoulder. "Word travels fast" "That it does" I move my hand to the side and accidentaly brush against his pant leg, making me blush profusley. I look away quickly and mumble an apology. He doesn't answer me, so I look up at him subtly, but sure enough he's smiling down at me. "Don't apologize for something that made us both happy" He says boldly. "And how are you so sure it made me happy?" "Kady, you're as red as a ruby" At this I laugh, out of both guilt and happiness. "Don't think so highly of yourself kid, it doesn't get you far in life" "It seems to have done a pretty good job so far" He smiles sarcastically, but I see a hint of truth in his eyes. By now people should be getting out of breakfast, and I can't be seen alone wit Draco Malfoy. "I need to go, I"ll see you around" I say, getting up. He looks up at me smiling, but his eyes .. they're so .. they're so sad. "Bye" I walk away quickly, across the courtyard and up the stairs towards the castle. I look back once more and Draco's looking right back at me. Oh god .. I look away and slide into a doorway


	5. A Note leading to the Stars

It's now early December. Harry and I have been going out since that night in the common room. He's sweet, he really is. I've gotten pretty attached to him. His friends are now my friends and I feel as if I've finally found my place.

I haven't said much to Draco, mostly because I'm always surrounded by Gryffindors. It's either a glance in class or a quick apology if we bump into eachother which seems to happen more often than it should.

Today McGonagall has decided to take a break from Transfiguration, and instead is teaching us the Wizard's Waltz, and typical dance that all accomplished wizards and witches should know.

All of the students form a circle around her room, both Gryffindors and Slytherins.

"We're going to need two students to start off with, don't fret though I'll be directing you along the entire dance. How about .. Harry Potter and Kady Gardner" She says warmly.

I can't dance for my life.

We're about to walk out when Snape interrupts. I guess he couldn't find anything better to do with his time than torment his pupils.

"If it's alright with you Proffesor, I would suggest students from two different house. Such as .. Ms. Gardner and perhaps .. Mr. Malfoy.

I feel my heart flutter, but I quickly get myself together as I notice the expression on Harry's face. I give him an apolegetic look, but he looks away.

Shit. Well it isn't my fault.

I walk out to the center of the room, followed by Draco.

I look up at McGonagall and she also gives me an apologetic look.

Gee, how bad was Draco before I got here?

"Draco, take Ms. Gardner by the .. waist with one hand and take her right hand with your free one"

He does just that, his touch making me shiver in his arms.

McGonagall continues to shout directions, but I'm lost in the moment.

He lowers his head and I can feel his breath on my neck.

I look over his shoulder and see everyone staring intently at us, along with Harry glowering not at me but at Draco.

"It's confusing at first, just follow what I do and we'll probably be able to make it through this without any major accidents." He whispers, into my ear, and I can't help but smile.

Harry's face only gets redder.

We slowly begin our way around the floor, his arms wrapping around me like a blanket.

I'm surprised by his grace, he moves around like he's floating, taking me with him.

We step, we twirl, we're together. We're alone, here and now.

I'm blushing, and I don't want Draco to see that, but something urges me to look up at him.

He's looking down at me, smiling.

I literally feel my heart skip atleast three beats.

Eventually our steps slow, and he dips me one final time.

I let go of him first and walk off the floor quickly, hiding my face behind the crowds.

I can't explain how I feel .. it"s a mix of guilt .. happiness .. sadness ... I'm just not sure.

**Later that night**

I'm sitting next to Harry, we're both just enjoying the fire.

Suddenly, an Eagle Owl pecks wildly at the window. I run up to let it in. It drops a white letter into my hands with my name written on it in fancy cursive writing.

I open it up quickly and read it quickly.

Kady,

I was surprised at your lightness of feet. Please, come to the Astronomy Tower tonight at 12.

D.M

"Who's it from?" Harry asks casually.

"Maria from Potions"

I feel terrible lying, but I can't have Harry find out Draco wrote me a note. Or that I'm going to see Draco at midnight.

I can't stand it anymore, something pulls me to Draco and I need to see if he feels it too.


	6. Under the Night Sky

All I can hear are my shoes clicking against the cold, stone floor, and the quiet whisper of the chilly wind. I make it to the astronomy tower but to my disappoinment, Draco is nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he forgot. Could he have been caught by a teacher? What if it was a phony letter? Damn, I'm smarter than this.. I should've known. Anyways, I have a boyfriend. I mean really, can someone please tell me what I'm doing at 12 'oclock at night, in a tower, waiting for Draco Malfoy when I'm Harry Potter's girlfriend?

But I mean .. it's not like I came up here to have sex with the guy or anything, I just wanted to see how he was doing.

Then, footsteps come into range. Louder and louder, closer and closer... it's him. It's Draco Malfoy.

"Sorry I uh.. was late, I got caught up with someon- thing, something." He says while playing with his hands, I can tell by the look in his eyes he wish he had never said his last sentence. It's not just that though, he looks hurt. His eyes are still phenomanlly blue, but they lost there glint. Dark circles have formed under his once childish eyes, and his smirk has been deflated into a flat, nervous looking frown.

"Its alright Draco, I'm in no rush anyways."

His face seems to brighten by the sound of my voice, his sly smile returns, and his eyes grow curiously large. In the moonlight though, he's so handsome.. he's beautiful. His eyes, his heavenly skin, the tint in his hair.. oh wait. I have a boyfriend. And he's very nice looking.. plain brown hair.. normal green eyes.. nice hands...uh oh.

"So, why'd you want to meet with me?"

He starts to look kind of guilty and fiddles with his fingers.

"I consider you a friend, and since we very rarely get to talk I wanted to see how you were doing in a place we wouldn't get disturbed"

"A friend? A friend in Gryffindor? You should be ashamed of yourself" I say, smiling.

"You should know you're the only Gryffindor I don't despise"

"Why do you hate them so much?"

He looks at me like I should already know the answer.

"You're new here so you wouldn't know. It's the way things are, my parents were both Slytherins and that's how they brought me up. I'm sure the Weasleys brought up their numerous children to hate Slytherins."

An awkward silence falls over us until Draco finally decides to speak again.

"So you ike the professors then?" Draco says almost as if he's holding back something else.

"They're great. Different, but good."

"Yeah, they can be a bit strange sometimes" He says, the same resistance in his voice.

"I've noticed" I say quietly. Why is it so hard to come up with something to talk about all of a sudden?

"So you're just... fine then?" He says as he sits down by a stone pillar.

I hesitate. "Yes.. just fine."

"And-and hows... Harry?" He says. I can tell it was a real struggle not saying Potter instead.

"He's fine." Then a silence falls over both of us. I sit down a little further towards the edge than Draco.

I look out into the view, pretending to be enthralled in the starry sky, but I have a clear shot of Draco out of the corner of my eye. He looks quickly in my direction, and once he realizes I'm not watching him, he locks his eyes on me. It makes me feel self conscious.. I hope theres nothing on my jacket,or butt, or shirt..

He stares at me for a while, then finally I can't take it anymore. I turn around and face Draco again. His eyes move quickly to the sky.

"It's such a nice night out" I say, with a unusually hushed voice. I just want to go and sit with Draco, hold his hand, touch his chest. I want him so badly it's making me feel sick to my stomach.

"Yeah, I know." He says calmly.

"Does he treat you well? Potter?" He says quickly, avoiding my eyes.

I think of the times Harry holds me, tells me I'm beautiful, talks to me like I'm the most important person in the world, but then my thoughts go to the darker scenes of our relationship. His short fuse, his constant distractions with Dumbledore and Slughorn, how jealous he gets, and all the constant attention he gets from being, well from being Harry Potter

"He and I are happy, I didn't come here expecting a relationship but I do have to day it adds a nice touch"

Draco still avoids my eyes, but I watch as his eyes move down to the ground. He clasps his hands together in a anxious motion.

"I'm sure it does" He scowls.

"What about you? A good looking guy like yourself must be of some interest to the girls here, what about Pansy?"

He snorts and shakes his head. "Pansy is a piece of work, she never leaves me alone"

"There must be other girls"

"There are, but none of them could ever make me happy"

"Why?" I ask, truly curious.

"I... I do have feelings for someone, at least I think I do, but I know she doesn't like me" he confesses.

"How do you know? Has she told you?"

"Not exactly but she doesn't need to tell me for me to know"

A feeling of excitement rushes over me as I think for a split second that maybe he's talking about me. I quickly snap out of it though, they're hundreds of other girls, I'm just being egotistical.

"You should tell her!"

He looks directly at me and half smiles.

"What would I tell her?" He asks.

"Tell her what you think of her, tell her everything that attracts you to her, girls are sticklers for that"

"I don't know how I would put everything into words"

"C'mon then, practice. Pretend I'm her, imagine her face on mine and tell me everything you want to tell her" I say encouragingly.

He takes a deep breath and stands up with me as we face each other.

"This is embarrassing" He laughs.

"Don't feel embarrassed around me, I'm your friend"

"Okay, well here goes nothing." He says and then pauses to clear his throat.

"I know you may not feel anything towards me and I understand that, but just know this. Every time I see you I can barely function. Your eyes, the way you walk, you bring me to my knees. You're more beautiful than anyone I've ever seen, and your smile lights up an entire room. We don't speak often but when we do your voice melts my heart. You have a boyfr... You have others in your life than can easily outshine me, by none could ever love you like I could."

"Oh Draco, she'd be in your arms by the first sentence, you have to tell her"

"Maybe one day I will" he sighs.

"Promise me?"

"I promise you" he says as he holds out his hand.

I take it and we shake on it.

I can't explain to you the feeling that overcame me as we took each others hands, sparks flew like wildfire.

Oh God let me have Draco Malfoy, how can I live without him?

Just then a thought crosses my mind, I was supposed to study with Hermione tonight after her late night herbology class studying plants that only bloom at night, she'll be looking for me.

"I have to go, people will wonder where I am" I mutter.

"Thank you for tonight" he says as gentlemanly as a prince.

"No, thank you" I smile back.

I have to force myself to turn around and walk, I want nothing more than to stay with Draco. I know I can't, I have to get back. I return to the common room and study with Hermione as promised, then I finally get to bed.

My bed seems so comforting. The soft sheets, the velvet curtains.. it's home. I try to sleep, I really do.. but Draco's eyes keep showing in my mind. I doze in and out of a light sleep, each time remembering my night and thinking about how I unwillingly like Draco's company more than my own boyfriends. I can't help it. I don't control these types of things.


	7. Draco's Sorrow

**Draco's Point of View**  
As I look out over the railing of the astronomy tower, I begin to wonder how easy it would be to just jump and end everything. The drop would only be a few seconds, the impact would be painless.  
You see, I really have no reason to live, well very few.  
I'm hated by mostly everyone, even my fellow Slytherins are starting to turn. The girl I want more than life itself is taken by Harry Potter. Oh and not to mention if I don't kill Dumbledore by the end of the year I'm going to be killed, along with my parents.  
If those aren't reasons enough to kill myself, I don't know what are.  
I walk over to the edge and look down... a knot tying itself in my stomach.  
Jesus .. that's a long ways down.  
I wonder what would happen if I did it. No one would really care, maybe excpet my mother and a few of my friends.  
Would Kady care?  
I tell myself no. She's in a relationship with the chosen one, why would she give two shits about me?  
But then again, if she didn't care about me why would she have met me up here.  
I take a step back and stuff my hands into my pockets, a clear image of Kady's face in my mind.  
She's perfect in every way .. she's smart, witty, and sarcastic just like me. It's a surprise she didn't get into Slytherin. On top of that, she's literally the most gorgeous being I think I've ever laid eyes on. When I told her how I felt about her, well when I was "practicing", I could have kept going and going. I want to talk to her forever, I want to be with her forever. Damn Harry Potter, the golden boy with the world at his fingertips, at least that's what everyone thinks, but I know differently. Voldemort will kill him, it's only a matter of time. Maybe then, maybe I'll tell Kady how I feel, if I'm still alive.  
Even if she did care about me .. she wouldn't if she knew who I really was.  
I'm a deatheater, I have the tattoo to prove it.  
My purpose in life isn't to love, it's to kill or to be killed.


	8. Beautiful Souls

For the past week, I have been secretly seeing Draco Malfoy in the Astronomy Tower at midnight. He sent me another note the night after our first meeting and now it's sort of becoming a tradition. It's easy enough to sneak out, although the late nights have been leaving me sick and tired all day, but it's the price I pay for seeing him.

You ask anyone in Gryffindor what they think of Draco Malfoy and you'll get the same reply" ew", "he's a jerk", "stuck up slytherin" and a plethora of other answers. You ask me, you'll get this. "An amazing man". Its true. He's been helping me with my homework, especially Transfiguration. He listens to what I have to say, and he has this.. this way of knowing exactly how I feel.

Harry says he loves me each day. He convinces me it's true. I love him... like a close friend. I feel as if going out with his is a way to repay him for what my father did. I know, it's stupid and it's no way to repay him, but I just feel like it is. It makes me feel less guilty, if thats even possible. Whenever I put a smile on his face a piece of me just lights up.

I'm going to go again tonight. I couldn't miss seeing Draco, it's just about the only thing I have to look forward to. Literally, I sit in class and my heart pounds whenever I think of our meetings.

Okay, it's 11:45, I'm leaving. Wait.. footsteps? someones up?

"Kady? What are you doing?".. I turn around slowly. Hermoines staing at me with a puzzled face, still in her pajamas, while I'm fully dressed. She has a tired look in her eye, the kind she gets after a long session of studying. "I Uh well I was going to check on the house elves, I love watching them prepare food, they're so nimble!". "Really?! Oh thats Great Kady! I'll come with you then!" "Uh that's not a good idea Hermoine.. they're very picky as to who they see at night".. Oh god..she'll never buy it. She's too smart. I mean I know lying's horrible, especially to a friend, but I don't .. I don't know what else to do.

" Oh okay then, night Kady!". Wow. That's a lucky one right there. She looks so tired though, that's probably why she's not insisting on going. The poor thing studies non stop, I mean granted she's the top of the class, it does take it's toll on her.

*Draco's POV*

I have to do it tonight. I can't see her anymore. The closer we get, the more danger I'm putting her in. I like her. Fine, I love her. Everyhing about her. Her voice, he hair, her scent, her clothes. She's perfect. My family will never know what I gave up for them. They'll never feel my misery.

*Kady's POV*

The air seems cool tonight, the snow is falling. Winter has always been my favorite season. It's like a crystal wonderland. The cold air, warm fires, loving spirits.

I see Draco, he looks distraught. His eyes are red, his skin is pale, his smirk, gone. Before I can even say anything he cuts me off. "We can't do this anymore". "What? Draco it's nothing.. were just friends..".

"No Kady, I love you. You don't understand though. I can't see you."

It is me. Draco Malfoy loves me. But why is he saying goodbye so soon.

I.. I love him...

"I need to know why Draco, why do this to me? You Have to have a reason.. If you love me.. then why?!"

"Kady I said I can't tell you".

"This isn't just about you, I have every right to know why you can't see me. Did I do something? Is it Harry? "

I feel my pain and hysterics being blinded by anger. Draco just stares a me, with the blue eyes I've grown to love. He starts to cry. The strong man I've always admired is crying. He falls to his knees, hand over his eyes, sobbing without even taking a breathe. I pause for a moment, unsure of what to do next, but I can't see him like this and do nothing about it, it physically makes me sick to see him in so much..pain. I run over and wrap my arms around his chest and place my cheek on his head. He feels so frail, so hurt, so unloved. I completely forget about Harry, the man I've slowly grown to love. I love Harry, but my love for him ends. My secret love for Draco, doesn't. Tears come out of my eyes. I love another man. I can't hurt Harry, after what hurt my family has already given him.

Draco sighs, looks up, and our eyes meet. He's putting himself back together after his break down. Before I can say anything, his soft lips meet mine. They feel so cold, but so comforting. So loving. Something I can't live without. He brushes my hair with his fingers, his angelic touch streaking through my soul.

I love him. The man that touched my soul. I can't live without him. I love Draco Malfoy.

My head is in love with Harry Potter. My soul & heart are in love with Draco Malfoy.


	9. A Slip of the Tongue

"You c-can't trust me, You don't know what kind of stress I'm under, what kind of things I have to do" Draco says to me through a shakey, nervous voice.

I know for a fact I'm under greater stress. Voldemort directly threatens me each day. I cry everyday. I'm scared. I'm scared for my life.

I wait until Draco is no longer taking unstable breathes to reply. In a whisper I say "Draco, I know that whatever your going through, it can't be as bad as me, and whatever it is, you'll get through." Draco slowly unattaches me from his body, I sit there alone on the floor. "You don't know what your talking about". He says, not facing me. Within the next few minute, were in a full on shouting match about ourselves.

"You don't know what I'm going through!" "You don't even know pain until you've gone through what I've gone through!" Back and forth back and forth. I feel my world crashing down.. I can't end this so soon. I can't put out the only light I have in my life. I've betrayed Harry, all my friends, my father.

It slips out so fast. I can't take it back. My world is about to end. "You're not the only daughter of Volemort!" I can't think, my vision blurs, I freeze. Draco stares at me, not even blinking. He does not talk, surprisingly does not run.. he just stands.

No, No! NO This can't be happening, No He can't know. Oh my God. I've done it. I'll be put in Azkaban. I'll be killed. Oh God Oh No. Horrified, I run out. Tears spilling through my eyes I trip over myself again and again, picking myself up each time. He'll tell everyone. Oh God... Harry. No No No I love Harry, No this can't be happening. All of my friends, all of my teachers, no one will forgive me for who I am.

It takes what feels like years to finally reach the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Password dear"? she says. Through my tears I manage to say " bittes..." "Sorry Thats Not the Password" she says, quiet pleased with herself. "BITTERNUGS" I scream. Surprised, she opens the door silently, slamming it behind me.

I'm alone in the common room, just like I am in the world, or will be by tomorrow noon.

Damn this, why would I have said that? Why were we even fighting in the first place, I can barely remember. Me and my big mouth and my hot temper, damn this.

In bed, I cry myself to sleep, although it takes hours..and hours..


	10. Strength

The one time I found someone worth my time, I put myself, and my mission before her.  
Only fragments of last night reappear in my mind. Kady was holding me into her after I broke down. I must have looked like such a damn idiot.  
The next thing I know were fighting about how much worse one's life is than the others. The most immature topic to possibly fight about.. though it feels much more serious now.

My world went black last night. After she said those words. They still ring through my head, making me cringe every time. "Your not the only daughter of Voldemort." "Your not the only daughter of Voldemort", again and again they replay in my head.  
I don't want to believe it. It seems too surreal. The innocent Gryffindor, glowing with personality, constantly laughing, beauty beyond words.. the daughter of Voldemort.

Could she have been lying? Just to win the argument? No. No one in they're right mind, or even battered mind would ever lie like that. The look in her eyes after she said it proved in. They grew giant, just like the full moon, her pupils became so tiny, they weren't even there, she didn't blink. Before I could stop her, she ran out. I could see her crying, I could see that she was sprinting, but her legs were weak and clumsy.  
The world around me began spinning, lights became brighter, sounds became softer. Me, being the great oaf I already am, fell on my knees for the second time that night. I got myself together and ran as fast as I could, barely able to hear the clicks of her heels. Then she was gone. I was alone. I was scared. I am scared. Deep down I'm scared. Is she like me? A teenager acting as there parents puppets, a rebel to the society of the wizarding world?

I pray she is stronger than me.


	11. Do I Stay or Do I Go

"How dare you, you little piece of scum, ruin the name of Voldemort. You are nothing, never loved by me not your mother. You will pay dearly, you earned it!"

I'm in the middle of a dark room, stones build the icy walls, there are no windows, blood's gushing from my head.

Harry is chained to the wall on one side of me, Draco the other.

"Father..Dad.. No, please! didn't do anything wrong!". I can't belive the agnoy coming from my voice, it doesn't sound like me at all.

His wand points to the two boys beside me. No. No! NO

"AVADA KEDAVRA".

My eyes shoot open. Tears coming from dripping down my cheek. My entire body is numb, and shaking. I'm in my bed. I'm at Hogwarts.. It was a dream..

I'm walking down the girls dormitory stairs, I see Hermoine, Ginny, Ron, Fred, George, and Harry all sitting together. I panic. What if they know? Draco spreads rumors, and they don't take long to reach the whole of the school. This would be no different.

Instead of facing Harry and the rest of them, I turn around and run upstairs.. like a coward. I can't face them.. I can't do it..

"Hey! Your up!", I turn around to see Hermoine smiling in the doorway. She shows no indication of hatred. "Well come on Kady, get dressed, we're all going down to breakfast together!"

"Hermoine? Ugh.. you're alright, right?". "Yes obviously I am Kady, whats gotten into you? C'mon there'll be no more of those pink sugar eggs left"!

He didn't tell anyone, my God, he didn't tell anyone. Draco, my savior, my light, my affair, he didn't tell anyone.

*Draco's POV*

I woke up in the morning to the bloody sun shining straight in my eyes, who the hell forgot to shut the curtains?

I walk down to the common rooom and straight away someone grabs my waist from behind. I wheel around, seeing it's only Pansy. "Get off me Pansy", I guess my voice sounded pretty angry, cause she let go and walked away, She never lets go when I tell her to.

The room is filled with people. Barely any one notices me, I'm old news.

Though I'm still in shock, the past few hours have been forcing my body to lose the lingering numbness. I don't know what do do if I see her today. Should I say something? Tell her its ok? Even though It's most likely not going to be.

But if she really is his daughter.. then I have nothing to lose in becoming close to her. She can't get hurt by me, although I think I screwed everything up bad last night, she can't get hurt by Voldemort.. wait a second. Does Potter know? Out of all the people he asked to go out with him, he just so happened to pick the daughter of the man who murdered his parents. Even more of a point to prove his stupidity. She's going to eventually have to choose one or the other, I may lie to people a lot, but not to the ones I love, she'll have to make her choice sooner or later.

So I'm not the only one in the school who's a deatheater, if she is. That's it. I'm talking to her tonight. I don't give a damn if she doesn't want to see me. This isn't a game.


	12. The Devil's Mark

I wake up with a pounding headache. It's a Saturday, no classes, and I just want to stay in bed. I think I will actually.

"Get up Kady, we're heading to Hogsmeade!" Hermoine says popping her head through the curtains of my bed.

"Ugh I have a headache Hermoine I think I'm going to stay here"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, tell Harry I'm sorry"

"Do you need anything? What would make you feel better?"

"Sleep"

She says her goodbyes and I hear her and Ginny disappear down the stairs.

I try to fall back asleep but I just can't. I decide to get up and take a walk outside, it's cold and groggy bt maybe the fresh air will do me some good.

I'm slowly walking down the South corridor when I see him. His blonde hair flashing in the sunlight, as usual. Pansy right behind him like a dog.

When he see's me his face comes out of what looked liked a zoning out face to a serious, down to buisness stare. I panic. Okay just breath, just breath. In and out, in and out..

"Hey look who it is, miss Gryffindor the mega-slut herself" Pansy barks at me as I pass by, avoiding Dracos eye. She laughs, I have no good comebacks today, I'm silent.

All of a sudden, I hear his voice.

"Pansy get lost" He snaps. She's not even taken aback by his behaviour, I guess it's normal for her. She turns around and walks away but not before giving me a total bitch glare.

"We need to talk now. Not tonight, Now." I say. I brace myself for harsh words, but they never come.

I look at his face, sullen, pale, dark circles forming under his eyes. I'm at a loss of words. After a few seconds of looking into the eyes of an angel, I speak. "You can't tell anyone what I said. and I mean it. You can't even mention we were ever at the astronomy tower together.."

He doesn't speak. Before another second passes by, he quickly looks around, then pulls up his sleeve. What I see makes my worst fears come true. My deepest depression come to the surface.

Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater


	13. Regrets

Where had my life gone?

Where had my instincts run off too?

What is happening to me?

Draco showed me his tattoo, the mark of a Death Eater. I don't know why it hit me so hard. I don't know what made me collapse into his arms.

I was now huddled in a secluded corner of Hogwarts, being cradeled by my boyfriends sworn enemy, sobbing hysterically into his neck. My mascara streaking across his skin and my cheeks, water pouring from my eyes, shaking like it was the end of my life.

I now begin to feel his chest heaving up and down faster, and soon I can tell Draco Malfoy and I are crying into each other. His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist as he straddles me and rocks me back and forth slowly in his lap. My arms are wrapped securley around his neck, my face leaning on his upper shoulder.

Crap, I got my make-up smeared across his shirt, and it's white. I don't even care. I just don't care about anything anymore. All I care about is Draco. It feels as if we're one. Our souls tangled up together. I never feel this way for Harry. I love him, but not like this. I've never loved anyone like this.

His grip tightens around me, his tears grow steadier, his chest moves up and down quicky, barely even stopping to breathe.

I don't belive in myself but I believe in love.

**Dracos POV**

I need to show her. I have nothing to lose. She's become my living purpose.

I roll up my sleeve to show her the mark. The mark of a Death Eater. I see her eyes stare at it. They grow smaller, not quite slits, but smaller the her normal, glistening eyes.

Next thing I know, Kady's collapsed into my arms, she's crying hysterically.

I gather my strength and carry her over to a lonely hallway, a hidden corner, where no one will see.

Whenever I touch her, it reminds me of when I was a young boy. Maybe the Summer of my second year at Hogwarts, if I remember correctly. I was on a trip with mother and father to the beach. The first time in my life. I walked onto the sand, the water stemming into the beyond, at the time I didn't know that the beyond really was where my future lay. Kady. The sand warmed my body, the air grazed my hair, the nearby smell of beachroses lingered under my nose. This is what I feel when I'm with Kady, like I felt in that long ago July.

I can't pull myslf together like usual, my surroundings overwhelm me. My mission, my distress, my love.

I'm crying. Out of all the things I can do right now, I choose to cry. I cry into Kady, her body is so warm. Not like myself, I'm usually cold, like I'm the living dead. My face has become rapidly paler in the past few weeks, my eyes, becoming more sunken in. I didn't know what I had signed up for. I never thought my mission would completely overtake my life. I was running out of time. I only had a few months left to-to kill Dumbledore. The man who had protected me for the past seven years of my life.

If I don't kill him though.. Voldemort will murder me. He has no mercy. I can only see darkness in his eye. How could he and the girl in my arms be related? How?

My eyes are burning, but the tears don't stop. I've never sobbed like this before. I guess it was bound to happen though. Does Kady usually cry like this? She seems too strong to have.. but then again I don't seem that soft on the outside either.

Wait? Are those.. foot steps?


	14. The Mysterious Encounter

The clicking of shoes get closer and closer as I jump from Draco and look out from behind a pillar.

Snape.

I start to panic and before I know what I'm doing I've jumped out from my hiding spot and have begun to walk towards Snape. He eyes me suspiciously.

"Katherine, how suprising to see you out alone on this beautiful Saturday" He speaks, his voice as dull as ever.

"I didn't feel up to Hogsmeade"

"I see" He says, but his eyes aren't on me, they're looking behind me.. at Draco.

Why the hell did he come out? I could have handled this myself!

"Mr. Malfoy? WellI see I have caught you in a most inconvient manor, but follies can't be the focus of our attention now. Come with me" He spits.

DId Severus Snape, the feared proffesor of potions, just brush off my being with Draco? A Gryffindor and a Slytherin? No house points being taken? And what could he possible want to talk to Draco about that he couldn't mention in class?

"Wipe that idiotic stare off your face and get moving" He snaps as Draco just stands there.

Together they walk down the hall and out of site without a word to me.

What's going on?

I wipe my face and realize I still have mascara trailing down my face. I must have looked like such an idiot.

I decide to walk down to the lake to clean up, and no one should be down there today. I need some time to think.


	15. By the Lake

Snape leads me to another hallway away from Kady. He pushes me against a wall.

"What were you doing with her?" He snarls.

"How is it your concern" I snarl back.

"You listen to me, you can't go near her, nevermind have a relationship with her. Do you hear me Draco?"

"I'll do what ever the hell I want to do, my relations with girls are none of your concern"

To my complete surprise, Snape actually slaps me. Hard.

"You prick!" I yell.

I push away from him and storm down the hallway, how dare he tell me what to do.

I pick up the pace and start running towards the door where I last saw Kady. I just run. My only focus on finding her.

My mother once told me that throughout life, you will meet a person unlike any other. You could talk to this person for hours, and never get bored, that you could tell them things, and they wouldn't judge you. She told me this person is a soulmate, and that whatever the consequences, I could never let them go.

Whoever said there is no such thing as love at first sight, they were a bloody liar. It happened to me, and I'm not willing to let go.

I finally see the outline of a person crouched down on the bank of the lake, the faster I run, the clearer the person gets. It's Kady.

She looks up at me as I sit down next to her, our feet just barely touching the water,

"Have you ever wondered why so many things go wrong at once?" She whispers, her voice barely audible against the wind.

"That's all I wonder about"

She looks out over the lake with a subtle smile, her golden hair caressing her ivory skin with the wind.

I want to reach out and touch her, her sweet skin against my fingers. I have a terrible urge to kiss her right here, right now.

"You know, just because I'm his daughter doesn't mean I'm like him"

I look down at her arms, both bare.

"Just because I'm a .. deatheater, it doesn't mean I'm all that bad"

She reaches over and lays her hand over mine, my body pratically convulsing with excitment at her touch.

"I know you're not bad Draco, I can see it in your eyes"

She looks straight at me as she says this, and suddenly an overwhelming sense of love overcomes me.

She doesn't mind what I do .. she knows I'm not bad .. she's the only person I have. I can't lose her, oh god I can't ever lose her.

I move towards her, so close that my lips hover over hers.

She brushes her lips on mine, softly kissing the corner of my mouth. I stroke my hand up and down her back as she leans into me, her hand pressing against my chest, more specifically my heart.

"I should probably go, I don't think any of our friends would like it if they saw us together" She hums.

We reluctantly let go of eachother and stand up, walking up the bank and parting on the path up to the school.

"I"ll see you at dinner, from a distance ofcourse" She says as she begins to walk towards the wooded path as I stay on the more rocky one.

"Wherever you are I'll be looking" I answer back.


	16. Jealousy at the Quidditch Pitch

**The Next Day**

I love Harry Potter, but my world would collapse without Draco Malfoy.

Aside from the love trianlge that takes over much of my life, I have Quidditch tryouts today. Yeah thats right, I'm trying out for a spot on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Harry says that all the Slytherins flock to all of Gryffindors tryout, practices, and games just to piss them off. Especially Draco, or in Harry's terms, Malfoy. This is gonna be interesting. Considering I've never even been on a broom.

"Your going to do great Kady, your gonna be just fine" Harry encourages me at breakfast. Hermoines is playing with her hair nervously, as Ron seems to become very interested in his bacon. Today is gonna be just peachy keen. The guilt of my unfaithfullness, everyone doubting my Quidditch skills. Great huh?

I'm given a used Comet Two Ninety, one of the faster brooms, but pretty old. Ha. Figures. Fast and old, when I've never even ridden a broom.

I walk into the stadium confidently. Harry was right, green and silver fill the stands, for a millisecond I see a blonde head, but I turn my gaze back to my broom quickly.

Okay, this seems pretty easy, just mount the broom, grip it, and kick off.

**Dracos POV**

As soon as I heard Kady was trying out for Quidditch, I freaked out. The girl's never ridden a broom in her life and shes trying out for Quidditch? I tried to find her before the tryouts to talk her out of it, but she was surrounded by the freaking golden trio.

I'm sitting in the bleachers with Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, and practically the entire house of Slytherin. Blaise mentions a new girl, more specifically Harry's girl is trying out when she's never even played.

Kady's never going to be able to live this down, not with her pride at least.

It seems like all the Slytherins are focusing on Kady, shouting all kinds of things at her, most of them having to do with Potter.

I see her standing on the field, ready to kick off. I don't want to see what happens next..

When I look back, she's gone. All I see now is a black speck flying sull-speed around the ring. At first I think it's a dementor, but then, to my joy, it's actually Kady. She's one of the fastest players I have ever seen.. Christ where'd she learn to go that fast? She's going faster than Potter, and he's on a firebolt. I look around, all the Slytherins are silent. I laugh, they have no idea what hit them.

My smirk is diminished when the screams of the Gryffindors blast through my ears, they're all yelling there heads off in joy. Gryffindors need to keep they're pride under wraps. Gits.

I see Kady stop right in the middle of the field, she's obviously made the team. Shes laughing and smiling, her hair windswept and wavy. I'm trying to catch her eye, and finally she spots me. She smirks and blushes, why does she always blush? It's so.. lovely.

The golden, messy haired, stuck up half blood Harry Potter comes up from behind her on his broom and kisses her while they're still both in mid-air. Apparently she hasn't fallen in love with me enough to stop herself from kissing other guys. My face falls into it's death glare, and I storm out of the bleachers. When jealousy, anger, depression, fear, hatred, and love are bottled up in one person, I'm not sure many people know how do deal with it other than socking someone in the face. I run as fast as I can back to the school, to my dormitory, to bed.

**Kady's POV**

Okay, so this day is taking a turn for the better. Turns out I'm not bad at Quidditch! I love feeling the wind in my hair when I fly, everything around me blurred, all I can make out in the bleachers are the different houses, due to the changing colors I see.

When I finally stop flying, I scan the bleachers mobbed with Slytherins, trying to catch Dracos eye, I find him. He's smiling at me, I can't see the dark circles, or sunken cheeks from this height, it makes me feel so happy to see him happy. Just to see him smiling, I'd do anything to see him smile.

As I'm looking at him, a feel someone grab my waist from behind I twirl around to see Harry right there on his broom. He moves me in and kisses me on the lips. I can hear all the Gryffindors and the few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws awwing or screaming in glee, while the Slytherins are making snickers or booing.

Last summer, I would have never thought I'd be kissing Harry Potter on a broom about six stories of the ground in fron of an entire school. I would have thought the person telling me had gone completely bonkers.

Harry pulls back and I smile. Though my smile is fake, for I was planning to .. break up with Harry this very night. Why does everything have to be so hard? I quickly look back at the Slytherins, but Draco's gone. I think I know why.

I can't wait to get back on the ground.


	17. Cries of the Night

After searching around the halls of Hogwarts for Draco, I return to the Gryffindor Common room with a giant knot in my chest. I look around and see all the Gryffindors rushing over to me, cheering me, yelling how we're going to win the cup this year, so on and so on.

For a second, I lift my gaze, frantically trying to find Draco, then it hits me that he's not here. He's around eight floors below me, in a secret dormitory, talking to people who hate me. Thinking of this, I cringe inside. I make my way out of the croud of gleeful Gryffindors and run right into Harry. It's now or never.

"Hi Harry..." I say, wincing as he pulls me into his arms.

"Kady you were great today! Theres no way we're not going to win this year"

"Uh .. yeah"

He seems to notice my awkwardness and takes both my arms and looks at me. He's not as tall as Draco so he doesn't have to look down, he just looks straight. I prefer taller guys.

"There's something wrong, I know you" He says, a tinge of anxiety in his voice. Almost like he knows whats coming.

"Yeah .. there is. Let go somewhere more private" I say, looking around at the loads of people crowding the room.

We walk over to a small, quieter study room off to the side and close the curtain behind us.

"Alright, whats going on"

Honest or not .. honest or not .. honest.

I go over and lean against the window, looking out into the distance, my back faced towards Harry.

"Harry... I don't think I can do this anymore. I love you like a best friend.. Oh Jesus, I cheated on you Harry, I'm sorry"

I can pratically feel his shock hanging in the air like moisture on a hot day.

I turns towards him and his face, oh God his face, he looks so taken aback.

"W-what?"

"I ..I cheated on you"

He runs his hand through his hair in exasperation, and I'm embarressed by myself. I feel like such a whore.

"Did you .. have sex with them?"

"What? No ofcourse not! I never even had it with you Harry, for Christ sake"

"Don't get an attitude with me, I'm not at fault here."

"I'm aware of that Harry, and you know I love you-"

He cuts me off. "No! If you did you wouldn't have cheated on me!"

I'm silenced. What am I suppose to say ..

He looks at me, a look of disgust.

"Who?"

"I'm not going to tell you Harry, that would create unecessary tension which you don't need"

"Unecessary? UNNECESSARY? If a guy macks on my girl, yes there's going to be tension!"

"I'm not saying anything"

"Fine, then don't. I have more than one way I can find out on my own. I hope you're happy, now leave me alone" He sighs and walks out, leaving me speechless in the dark.

It feels like my world is falling apart .. I can't do this ..

I rush out of the room and through the throngs of people, up to the empty girls corridor.

I run up to my bed and collapse onto the velvet throw, sobbing into my pillow.

The pressure of everything crashes down on me at once and I can't seem to hold anything it, so I cry into my pillow and sit in the agony of my regrets into the early hours of the morning.

** Draco's POV**

I go to bed at about four in the afternoon, which is very unlikely for me. I usually stay up late either fixing the vanishing cabinet, or just thinking. Sometimes I can't sleep at all. Tonight, I have no time for anything. If I try to think, it leads to Kady, which leads to pain, which leads to me breaking down.

If I try to fix the vanishing cabinet, I'll be reminded of Voldemort, which then leads to Kady, which then leads to pain, which then leads to me breaking down aswell.

Before everyone comes barging up from the Qudditch game, I draw my curtains and just sit up, staring into space. I look beside me, then to the other side, that's when I see a small silver blade.

I've heard of people hurting themselves as a way out of pain, though I never thought I would come to it. Now my life is different, my life is full of pain and darkness, and the only light I have is being kept prisoner from me by my worst enemy, Harry Potter.

I slide the blade over my pale skin, blood comes out and runs down my skin, It looks like a beautiful piece of velvet over my skin. I'm awestruck by how much it interests me. How it doesn't hurt.

I hear footsteps and snap out of my trance, using a vanishing spell for the blood, and a covering charm on my skin, to mend the cut. I hear a familar voice call my name.. Blaise.

Blaise is my closest friend, he's known me since we were like three or something. I draw the curtains, a blank expression on my face. Thank goodness, it's only him, no one else like Crabbe or Goyle.

"Draco , c'mon man what's going on? You're acting .. weird"

"I feel really sick, so I'm going to bed." I say as plainly as possible, hoping he doesn't recognize the lie.

"Oh, okay then.. night I guess" He didn't buy it, I can tell, but I'm thankful he doesn't push me further. I wouldn't even dare telling him what really wrong. That the girl I love is with another man, and I don't know if she's in love with me enough to dump him. I need her though .. I can't live without her..

I draw the curtains and fall back, sleep.. finally.

A few hours later, I awake with a startle. Someone is sobbing? I look around the dark common room, no ones there except the guys, but they're all asleep. Wait a second.. that sounds horribly like Kady sobbing..

I can't figure out where the sobbing is coming from, but I know it's Kady. I just know it is. It doesn't seem to be stopping either..

What's happening to me? Why do I hear Kady crying?

The sobs bring pain to my heart, I don't know what to do. What would I do if she was here in my arms sobbing?

I would soothe her and tell her everything is going to be alright. I start saying these things in my mind, trying to comfort the distant sobbing.

It stops.

What the hell was that all about..

Half an hour later, the sobbing starts again. Where is it coming from? It's driving me insane! Kady's off sobbing somewhere and I can't do a damn thing about it..or is she? Am I just imagining things?

Madness from pain?

The sobbing turns into hysteric cries, they haunt me all night.

I twist and turn, trying to block them out, but I can't do it,

If only she was here.. with me.. I would be able to calm her.. to tell her I love her.. that it's going to be alright.. to tell her I'll protect her.. that she'll never get hurt..

The constant crying keeps me awake. I don't fall asleep until dawn, when the weeping stops.

Why can I hear Kady crying?

Why does it hurt me so much?

I need answers.

I need her.


	18. Dining Hall Glares

I wake up, I refuse to open my eyes for fear of the day that is to come. I see my red vevlet curtains hanging, untouched from last night. I raise my head and come out from behind the curtains. No one's here, it must be pretty late then..

I look at the clock, its only 10. Fantastic, hours and hours of fun for the rest of the day.

Harry, Ron, Hermoine, and Ginny will hopefully be gone. I can't see any one of them today, I'll just start crying again like the coward I am.

I reluctantly get out of my bed and quickly get dressed.

I peek around the corner, just to make sure people I don't want to see aren't sitting in the common room. Phew, it's only Dean and well.. Ginny. But Ginny's alright. I guess she's not going to run up and start hounding me.. I hope.

As I walk by them, Dean whispers something to Ginny and they both look over again. I ignore them and stumble out of the portrait. The fat lady asks if I'm drunk. I give her a glare and a snarl, which only reminds me of Draco. Although that fat lady has a point, I just practically fell out of the common room, I look tired as hell, yesterdays make up has become darker and more spread out from all the crying, and now I look like a stripper, and I'm very unfocused. Not to mention I feel drunk. Like I'm going to fall over at any point. Not because of drinking though, because of the sick feeling of depression.

I trying to poise myself as I walk down the stairs of the tower, wiping the make up from my face and straightening out my clothes. I reach the Great Hall where eveyones having lunch. That includes Harry, Ron, Hermoine, and Draco.

Wow. What timing.

I feel not only Harry and Draco's eyes on me, but apparently eveyone in the school has heard the news that Harry's lost me, because everyone is staring. The silence that overtakes the Great Hall as I walk in sends chills down my spine. Okay so I'm not sitting with Harry, no way in hell would I just walk up to a Slytherin and sit down. Great. I'm alone.

I see an empty space at the end of the Gryffindor table, so I decide to sit there. I take my time getting there though, playing music through my head as I walk, it makes me feel better.

Why doesn't everyone have a look at the freak who cheated on Harry Potter huh? I walk by a first year whos eyes are fixed on me. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer?" I say casually, he turns as red as a tomato and turns back around. Many of the students turn around now.

I sit down quietly and take out my DADA book, reading in depth and not taking my eyes off the word until a while later.

By now, all of the people in the Great Hall have cleared out except some Hufflepuffs, Draco and Blaise remain at the Slytherin table, while Hermoine, Ron and Harry stay put at the Gyrffindor table. I feel both Draco's eyes and the Golden trios eyes on me as I start walking. People make everything so freaking uncomfortable sometimes.

Finally I stand up and rush out.

I'm walking down a lonely corridor, no one seems to be in the school. Everyone is at Hogsmeade I guess. I couldn't go there though, not with Harry walking around.

I sigh and sit down, I hear footsteps running up behind me, before I get a chance to fully turn around, Draco has me encircled by his body up against a wall. He looks at me right in the eyes, and without moving his glance, he talks.

"You broke up with Potter"

I try to put the most serious expression I can on my face, but right now, I'm elated to finally be with Draco.

"Yeah, I did."

He's silent, he just stares into my eyes, not moving, not even blinking. I wonder what he's thinking, what he's feeling.. It feels like he's reading my soul, like he's looking into me and my thoughts, I flinch at the thought of this. He snaps out of his trance and backs away, his face turning a little bit red. I smile and walk up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, turning his face towards mine. I press my lips against his as softly as I can. His lips come in harder, and soon both our mouths are open. His lips are so soft, like cashmere. He smells like clean cotton, but with a slight scent of evergreen trees. I pull back slowly, looking into his eyes. I can clearly see the dark circles under his eyes, the ones that pain me so much to look at. His face is so pale, just like new fallen snow. The kind I left behind in the mountians of New Hampshire. The kind of snow I remeber in the little town of Jackson, a town neslted deep in the mountians, right on the bank of the Wildcat river. Just thinking I'll probably never see it again always makes me cry, but looking into Draco's eyes seems to calm me right now. He wraps one arms around my waist and presses my forehead against his.

I hear Draco's voice say I love you, but he didn't say anything. It was the voice I heard in my head last night, the one that calmed me and cooed me. I think I'm going insane.. hearing Draco's voice inside my head all the time. It's so odd... but at the same time.. so.. good. Hearing him when he can't be there for me.

As soon as the words are said in my mind, Draco stares at me, then abrubtly says "I'll always be here for you" I look at him in confusion, but say "I Know".. did I just say that out loud or something? I am going insane.

"You just said you didn't, you said I won't always be here for you" Draco says slowly

I look up, Draco can hear my thoughts..

I look at him bewildered, finally I whisper, "Draco I didn't say that, I thought that.. how'd you hear that"

He shrugs his shoulders and then he asks me something that shocks me like a bolt of lightening.

"Were you crying last night.. a lot?" he asks softly, while staring past my gaze, at the wall he has me pushed up against.

"D-Draco, how'd you know that"

" I could hear you sobbing in my head all night. I don't know how.. " Now he is looking at me, right into my eyes. I don't know how to answer him, I don't know what to say. I stay silent.

"Could you hear me trying to soothe you last night?" He says, while cramping his arm muscles. I can feel them, since he has me laying into him.

"yes"

We look at eachother softly, sharing puzzled looks. Then the story of the soulmates come to mind again.

"Draco, I once read in a book that every generation, a pair of soulmates are born, and they have many ... odd abilities."

" As in?" He asks quickly looking more interested with every passing second.

"Reading eachother's minds, feeling eachothers pains, .. not being able to live without the other"

He quietly takes a step back from me, looking as though he is deliberating something in his mind. Draco's body heat that was warming me now turns to the cold, winter air lurking around every empty space in the castle. He looks up at me again.

"Do you think that us, I mean we're, that..." Dracos voice trails off mid-sentence.

"I don't now" I mutter.

All of a sudden, Draco drops to the floor screaming, gripping his arm, gripping the Dark Mark.

I panic and drop down beside him. Oh my God, Oh my God, what do I do... I'm going to kill father one day. I hate him. He's hurting Draco.. he's going to pay.

I'm on my knee's trying to coo Draco and he coughs violently and wails on the ground. His eyes are clamped shut, his face as pale as a white sheet of parchment. I run my hand over the mark, sweeping in gently. As soon as I touch the mark, he lets out a gasp of breath and opens his eyes. He sit's up shaking. "He's, he's, he's angry.." Draco whispers. I've never seen Draco's eyes like this before, and I never want to see them like this again. They have gone completely black, and as big as the moon. They scare me. They actually scare me.

He reaches out for me, still shaking like mad, I rush into him and bury my face into his chest. I start to cry. Oh lord, here come the hysterics all over again. I still feel his arms shaking, and I just wish that he would stop. He scares me when these things happen, I'm scared of losing him..

I cry even harder now, but Draco seems to forcing himself to stop shaking. Oh no.. did he hear my thoughts? All of a sudden I hear a voice, Draco's voice, but it's from inside my head.

"I'm sorry Kady, I'm sorry for how much this hurts you. I never want to put you in pain. I would kill myself if I ever did. Please forgive me, I can't stop shaking.. no matter how hard I try. I'm so sorry. I love you"

I stop crying, I look up at Draco, whose eyes are still shut in sadness. I touch his cheek delicatly. His eyes slowly open. He now talks to me. Through his vocals.

"I'm so sorry" he says faintly, so faintly I'm barely able to hear him.

"Draco, there's absolutley nothing to be sorry for. Don't apologize when I'm wrapped in your arms, cause right now, nothing could be more right" I smile tenderly. His eyes return to their beautiful, natural state. He leans forward and kisses me, this is the eternal kiss I've read about in fairy tales, the one that brings princes back to life. This is that one kiss you get once in a lifetime, I enjoy every minute of it.

We both get up and start walking, not to anywhere specifically, just walking hand in hand, shoulders burshed up against eachothers.

We're walking in silence, but the snow creates a soothing song while its winding it's way down from the sky above.

"Would you come to Malfoy Manner for Christmas" He says gingerly. I was originally supposed to go to The Burrow, but I think Malfoy Manner would be better. Anyways, I'll get to see father. I still have to get him a gift.. wait. Why do I want to give Voldemort a gift.. I'll just get him a jar of pickles. Who doesn't like pickles?


	19. A Mistake is Made

Merlin.. I've fallen in love. She's my soulmate then.. there is no other explanation. I can't belive it.. a soulmate.. like the ones mother used to tell me about when I was a young boy.

She broke up with Potter, she's mine now. She's no longer prisoner of another man, she's mine.. she's my light, she's what I think about when I feel helpless, she's the reason I was put on this Earth.

I'm going to protect her for the rest of our lives, no matter how long or short mine is. For all I know, it might be sooner than planned.

I had Kady pushed up against a wall, my body completely surrounding her. I felt like that was my way of protecting her, like nothing was going to get through me to hurt her. I've never felt this way before, yeah sure I've had a girlfriend, Pansy. But she's too clingy for me, she never gives me a break. All the Slytherins are like that though.. it's like I'm there freaking prince or somehthing. I guess it's better to be with someone from a different house.. you know if they're real or not. Although being able to read someones thoughts makes everything pretty real too..

But that bastard Voldemort just had to ruin one of best moments of my life. He's already ruind my life, but oh no, it doesn't stop there. I fell to the floor in agony when he got angry today. It was like nothing I've ever felt before, today, he was exasperated in fury. I'm nevous of what's going to happen next.. usually when thses things happen.. someone innocent gets.. hurt.

Now that shes coming to Malfoy Manor for Christmas break instead of the dirty little Weasley burrow, it just makes me feel less alone. I won't have to face him or my father alone.

I'm not on my own anymore, I have someone I can relate to, who won't judge me, and can't get hurt by what my outside life occurs of.

I walked her back to Gryffindor tower and left her for my own house before all the Hogmeade people come back. Now I'm sitting in a green velvet armchair in the Slytherin Common Room watching different people trickle in, its only about 2 o'clock. I can't hear anything meaning Kady's thoughts or anything of the sort. I wouldn't like to think so but I think she may be purposely trying not to communicate for whatever reason, I try hard to connect with her but nothing comes.

Hey.. wait a second.. if I tell her I found a way to block eachothers thoughts I can make her think I can't hear her, but I really will. That's not bad or anything, it's just to make her feel more comfortable and anyways what could she be thinking that she wouldn't want me to hear? I'll have to send an owl now to be able to still meet her before the mass of people come back. I send away Zeus, my Eagle Owl, away with the note to meet me at 2:30 in te abandoned potions classroom in the West Dungeon.

I leave the common room, smirking at my idea.

** Kady's POV **

Seamus Finnigan, one of my friends fom Gyrffindor comes up behind me and says he has to talk to me, I oblige and sit down with him near the fire. It's only us and then the left over 2nd and 1st years.

"Kady, A Ravenclaw named Swana says you cheated on Harry with Michael Corner, is that true?"

Oh God give me a break would you.

"Ofcourse not Seamus, that's not true, she just has problems with me so she makes crap up"

I get up and look down at him, he nods and sits back, like he's thinking it over. I walk away.

I'm about to leave the common room when an owl I've never seen before comes in and drops a letter. That's strange, owls don't usually come to Common rooms like this..

I open it,

Kady,

Meet me at 2:30 in the West Dungeon

D.M

I look at my watch, it's 2:15. I rush out of the Common room and head down the stairs.

I'm walking near a Northern Corridor when I see Swana.

Oh, she better watch out.

If Draco gets wind of that rumor, he'll be so upset with me..

I strut over to where Swana and her friend Chamomile stand, Chamomile see's me first and her eyes grow wide and her mouth turn into a nervous twist. Swana whirls around, looks at me, then back at Chamomile, smirking.

"What'a your problem?" I spit.

"Oh don't make me laugh, you think you can just show up Hogwarts and go through our guys like nothing? You're a foreigner, probably not even a real wizard, and you're a slut. Get out of here before you get hurt" She laughs.

"Uhm .. do you have mental issues? Were you deprived of love when you were a kid and now you have to be the center of attention or something? Don't you dare threaten me, you have no idea what I'm capable of, but I'll let you know you. Meet me here, midnight, and we'll see who the real witch is"

Her face drops a little, but she still keeps her mouth in a firm smirk.

"I'm not fighting you, I'll hurt you" She smiles.

"Oh you're scared?"

Her eyes narrow, and finally she agrees, walking away quickly with Chamomile.

Jesus Christ .. what the hell is up with some people?

After swiftly walking down to the West side, I finally reach the dungeon and see Draco standing there.

I softly walk in and touch his shoulder, he flinches nervously, but when he turns around he calms down instantly. He reaches for my waist and brings me closer, kissing me lightly.

"Long time no see" He says while smirking, I smile and back away.

"So what'd you want to see me for"? I say while looking at him. "Oh so you need a reason? Just seeing me isn't enough?" He answers sarcastically. I qucikly giggle and respond with "I just thought you might have a reason".

His face becomes more serious and he tells me all about how he figured out a way to block out my thoughts so he can't hear them anymore. Though I never heard of anything like that, I don't have a reason not to belive him, I know he would never lie to me. Although the more I think of it I'm pretty sure I have heard of a spell like that. I'm happy he figure it out, we both need time to get used to this, the idea of having someone know your every thought and feeling can be a little uncomfortable.

"Really"? I say.

"Yes, now I won't have to hear you obnoxious sobbing all night" He says sneeringly

I know he's just joking but did I really keep him up all night? I feel so bad.. I never meant too.. I had no idea he would hear me though.

He see's I'm silent and quickly changes the subject, well almost.

"What were you crying about though Kady" He states more seriously now.

"It was just a long night Draco, it's not important anymore". I would never tell him it's beacuse I'm so afraid of how much I hurt Harry, How much pain it put me through. That I only did it for him.. and it was worth it.. but it hurts like hell. I miss Harry. There are so many things different from Draco and Harry, and although I love Draco more, I just can't get over somethings Harry does that he doesn't. Like a face that doesn't hurt me each time I look at it, no dark circles, no sunken cheeks, no pain or fear. Like the way Harry told me I was beautiful each day.. And how he would hold me for hours on end, not saying a word, just holding me tightly into his chest. But I gave him up for the one thing I love more than him.. Draco. I have no regrets but everything happened so quickly I still need time to process all of this. I do love Harry as a dear friend and I care deeply about him, I never meant it to turn out this way. If I had known that Draco and I were fated then I wouldn't have gotten involved with anyone else obviously but how was I supposed to know! I'm so sorry Harry.

Draco doesn't push me any further, I guess he can tell I don't want to talk about why I was crying. He stays silent for a long time, avoiding my eye contact, looseining his grip on me.

I finally decide to break the awkwardness.

"I'm duelng a girl named Swana tonight, at midnight" I say flatly

He looks up at me and mumbles something, but he's too quiet for me to hear.

"What?" I say

"I said maybe I'll come" he snaps at me irritantly. What the hell did I do now?

"Listen, I got to go do some homework, I'm really behind" he tells me, before I can answer he starts walking out..

"Draco wait!" I say rushing after him. He stops but he doesn't turn around, I guess I'll just have to walk in front of him then. He's so damn hard sometimes,

I get infront of him, his eyes still avoiding mine. I hug him with all my might, though his arms don't reach around me. I look up at his face and press my lips against his, I put all I can into this kiss, feeling like this is more important than usual.. Now he begins to wrap his arms around me, pulling me in closer towards him. I pull back and finally get him to look me in the eyes.

"I Love You Draco"

"I Love You Too"

He kisses my forehead then saunters out of the room. I'm alone once again, all alone. But in my heart, I'm always with someone, I'm always with Draco.

** Draco's POV **

So she still has feelings for Potter, she hasn't completely let go. It's not my fault I don't have a perfect life and a that I have issues or how I talk more than he does. God Damn it it's not my freaking fault. Why didn't she just stay with the ugly git if she feels this way, huh? Maybe I should go get him now and push her right back into him, no one needs Draco Malfoy in the first place. I can't look her in the eyes, I just want to get away. I lie to her about my homework, but I lie all the time anyways. One more thing Potter has that I don't, a good heart.

As I walk out, Kady races after me. Can't she tell I'm pissed? She hugs me, but I can't put my arms around her and hug her back.

But then she kisses me..

Her kiss is so tender, so sweet. Like the dew of fresh cut roses. Slowly, my anger dissolves. I'm so ignorant sometimes, over such stupid little things

She said she loved me more than Potter, that she gave him up for me. Kady loves me, theres no denying it. I kiss her forehead, a sweet gesture I use as an apology for my ignorance, even though she doesn't know it.

Now I'm walking down the stairs to the common room, I have to get some clean clothes on. I don't want to show up at a duel looking like a git.


	20. Forbidden Spells and Forbidden Love

It's 11:45. There's a giant blizzard rolling in tonight and it's just started. The snow looks so beautiful as it falls, I guess it's going to be a white Christmas this year. Christmas break is only three days away now. Homework is winding down and an air of excitement hangs over everyone.

Hermoine hasn't talked to me since last night, but she finally comes over to me now.

"Hey, a lot of people are going to your duel, so we decided to go aswell."She says happily

"we?"

"I mean Ron, .. Harry ... and I"

Fantastic, Harry is coming to watch me duel. Why does he care in the first place though? It's really over.. seeing him is only going to make everything so much harder. He should know that by now.

"Oh okay then, well I'm going to get going" I say casually, but while I'm walking away she stops me again.

"You're still going to tell him who .. right? Kady he still loves you, he has the right to know" She says quitely.

"Yes Hermoine I am going to tell him, But I can't right now. And trust me, it's not the Ravenclaw that people are saying it is.. it's someone .. a lot different." She looks at me oddly, then walks away, back to where Ron and Harry are standing and watching our conversation. I head out of the portrait hole and step down and out, making my way to the Room of Requirement. I don't have to rush, I'm not really in a hurry for anything.

Finally, I get there. My God.. there are so many people. It's only one senseless duel. Swana is already standing on top of the long, narrow stage in the center of the room. I climb up the stairs and standind directly facing her. I glance around at the crowd, I see Harry's green eyes watching me intensely, like I'm going to run off the stage and into his arms or somehthing.

But I don't see Draco's handsome pale face, and his ocean like blue eyes.

"You ready to get hurt?" she says smiling, in a loud voice so everyone can hear. Oh boy this is gonna be hilarious, she honestly thinks she can take out the daughter of Voldemort? Don't get me wrong, I don't use my father as a bragging point or something to be proud of, cause I'm really not. He's a horrible man and I would do anything for another father, but I can't.

"Before we start this you want me to get some water? Whales can't live out of the sea" I say smirking. The crowd erupts in cruel laughter, all looking at Swana now. She stops smiling and glares at me right in the eyes. I can see fury, but I also see fear.

A young Ravenclaw counts "1, 2, 3"!

"FLIPENDO" she screams, but before it can reach me..

"Cor torqet" I say casually. A black ball of dust explodes from my wand and hits Swana square in the chest, she starts to scream in agony.

Cor Torquet is a latin spell I was taught by my father, it causes the target's heart to turn all the way around inside they're chest, though the victim will not die or become injured. It just hurts about as much as the Crucio curse, but directed in the chest. And it's not unforgivable.

Everyone soon forgets about me and crowds around Swana, who is now in painful hysterics. I hear a voice behind me.

"Kady.. Kady!.. KADY"

I turn around and see Draco. He's motioning me to come down, so I look around to see if anyone's looking then I grab his hand. We rush out of the room and into a corner in the hallway blocked by a tapestry.

"What was that?! That's a dark magic spell! if any of the professors find out!" He's screaming at me now. Uh Oh.. never thought about the professors.

"Draco, they won't find out, it's against the school rules to have duels, anyone who tells, they'll be signing up to for they're deaths!"

He looks around, then back at me. He pushes me up against a wall like he normally does, I don't know why, and kisses me. I can feel him trying to elongate the kiss as much as he can, and so I wrap my arms around his neck and lift one leg up, in that pretty femine pose all the magazines tell you to do. After about a minute, I back away. He cautiously looks out of from behind the tapestry. He grabs my waist and pulls me out with him. We set off together down the hall.

He leads me deeper and deeper into Hogwarts, and we reach the base of the stairs that lead up to the astronomy tower. I clutch his hand and we start moving up the stairs at a moderate pace.

"I come up here a lot .. to think" Draco says.

"It's a beautiful view, although I've always had a fear of falling off it" I say, blushing at the embarrising truth. He looks at me and smiles, I guess he can tell that I'm embarrassed, soulmates are supposed to be able to know these things.

"A lot of people are scared of heights, and you don't have to worry, I'll die before I let you go over, and I would jump off after you if you did". He says this with such truth in his tone, that it makes my heart skip a beat.

** Hermoine's POV ** I dont usually do other peoples point of view, but I have to do it for you to get what happens!

Harry's been so upset about Kady. I feel so bad, but no matter what I do I can't change anything. He's already under so much stress from Voldemort, and now that he doesn't have Kady, he's going very much downhill. They seemed so in love, Harry told Ron and I that he couldn't belive Kady had actually cheated on him, it still seems so surreal to him.

I went down with Harry and Ron to see Kady duel, I wasn't sure I wanted to come, going to duels are against school rules, but Harry persisted until I gave in. Ron wanted Kady to lose so badly, he's very angry wih her about what he did to Harry, Harry is like a brother to Ron. Although Harry is like a brother to me aswell, I can't hep but feel sorry for Kady. Something seems to be bothering her so much. And I promised her I would be her friend, I would never break a promise like that.

Though I can't belive what Kady used against Swana. I know Cor Torquet from a book I once read from the restricted section.. it's a terribly dark spell used to twist the opponents heart. I have no idea where she picked that up from.. not many people know it.. My guess is she read about it and she was just tesing.. I hope. No Hermoine don't think like that now, Kady was just tesing it! Nothing more.

But..

I was the only person who wasn't crowded around Swana to see what was wrong with her, because I already knew. Thank goodness Harry went to check it out with Ron, I don't know what he would have done if he saw what I saw..

I know who Kady cheated on Harry with.. s-she cheated on him with..Oh my I can't even say his name in the same sentence.. Kady cheated on Harry with Draco Malfoy.

I saw her take his hand and then they both ran into the hallway. I followed them out, and they didn't notice. Draco pushed Kady into a corner and started to yell at her for something.. though I couldn't quite hear what. She said smething that calmed him down and then he.. he kissed her..

She wrapped her arms around him and they snogged eachother for about a minute. Then he took her by the waist and lead her down the hallway, if I hadn't ducked behind a wall Malfoy would have seen me. What I don't understand is that she knows how much he has hurt so many people.. including Harry, Ron and I .. her bestfriends. She knows what he calls me and how offensive it is How could she do this? How?! I'm having a long talk to her when I see her alone. I don't think I'll tell Harry.. yet. I'm going to do the more mature thing and talk it out with Kady, not go tattling.

But How could she do this?

** Draco's POV **

I walk into the Room of Requirement very softly, so not to attract attention. I'm the only Slytherin in the room, and if I were to just barge in like some drunk oaf many people might think it suspicious. I stay put in the shadows to watch. I see Kady looking around, In my mind I can hear that she see's Potter, but not me. I want to tell her I'm there, and that I'm watching her, that I'm supporting her, but I can't do that now that I've told her I've blocked her thoughts. It was a pretty good idea if I do say so, I have complete access to her..body and mind.

She was quite good at dueling.. although she used a dark spell. If the professors ever found out there was illegel dueling and dark magic beeing used, I'm not sure what might happen.

.

I regrettably lost my cool with her when we were behind the tapestry.

I'm so afraid of losing her.. I can't risk having the school find out who Kady and I really are.. Voldemort's followers. Though she's not exactly a follower.

If I had been that strong, I would never be in this situation in the first place. She refused her fathers wills, I gave into mine. She's not afraid to defy his beliefs, I am.

I decide to take her up to the astronomy tower. We've met a few times up there before but I want her to see it on a Winter night, it's spectacular. I lead her from beind the tapestry and just for a second, I think I see someone at the end of the hallway. I look carefully, but no one's there. Must have been my mind playing tricks on me.

When we finally reach the Astronomy Tower, I try to hold her like she describes Potter doing, holding her in silence, just living in the moment together. I listen to her thoughts, some random and useless, others deep and dark. I just listen, not saying a word. I hold her in my lap, both of my legs on the outer sides of her body, her hands and head resting on my chest. I see her slowly moving up and down with the movements of my breath, I'm surprised I actually breathe, sometimes I don't think I have a heart. And I know thats what the rest of the school thinks.

After hours of sitting in the snow, sometimes whispering to eachother, sometimes enjoying the silence, I carefully walk her to the Gryffindor Tower, making sure she gets there safely. I embrace her once more before I turn to leave.

"I love you Draco, please, please, don't ever leave me alone" Kady says quietly, looking right into my eyes. I can hear her thinking...

"Oh god, I can't afford to lose him, I would die. I've never loved anyone like this, I don't deserve him, but gosh do I need him" her thoughts go.

"I love you too Kady, and I'll never leave you. I'll have a family with you, grow old with you, just promise, never to leave me." I say softly, while stroking her hair.

"Never" is all she says. She turns around slowly, but not before I caress her waist and turn her back for one more kiss.. I feel so agonized, like I won't be seeing her for a long time.. but no, she's coming to Malfoy Manor for Christmas, she'll be with me for the next few months. I'm not going to loose her.

I watch her go into the portrait hole. Soon I am sprinting down the staircase so no lone Gryffindor catches sight of me, I run as fast as I can back to the dungeons, back to the Common Room.


	21. Family Reunion

I walk into the common room which seems to be unusually cold. I only see Hermoine sitting by the fire dozing off. I walk over to her and touch her shoulder, waking her.

"Sorry I startled you Hermoine"

"Where were you?" She snaps,startling me.

"I was on th Astronmy Tower, getting some fresh air" I'm not lying, it's true I was on the Astronomy tower.. I just wasn't alone.

"It's snowing Kady"

"Hermoine you know I've always liked the snow better than heat" I say, she seems to be up to something, I just don't know what.

What she says next knocks the wind completely out of me

"I saw you with Malfoy"

I'm silent. What am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to react? What am I supposed to do? This wasn't supposed to happen. No one was supposed to know.

He always throws her insults..they're onto his deatheater double life.. and now she knows I betrayed not only Harry, but her aswell. Oh god, I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. Especially Harry and Hermoine. I love them both, I would never hurt them. But how did she find out in the first place? How?

"Well, are you going to deny it?" Hermoine says anxiously

"No.. I'm not." I can't deny it now, that would only be stupid, it would only lead to more conflict.

Hermoine gets up and starts heading towars the stairs of the girls dormitory. "Wait!" I call frantically, "Hermoine, please don't tell Harry, not right now"

"No Kady, he has the right to know"

Oh god, not Harry.

"Don't tell anyone else then... please" I'm now whispering.

She nods her head and walks away. I'm left alone in the Common Room.

I sit in one of the great red armchairs and cover my face with my hands. This is all working out so terribly, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of my friends. I know I made a stupid decision by two timing Harry, I really don't know why I did that,I should have waited. I've always looked down on girls who cheat on the boyfriends yet now I'm one of them.

My father killed Harry's parents and now I've cheated on Harry. What the hell is wrong with my family and I.

I sit down and look at the clock, 3 am, still in the middle of the night. Most kids won't be rising for atleast another four hours. Harry won't know for atleast 5 hours.. I just stare into the embers of the fire, wishing I was with Draco.. wishing I could talk to him and tell him everything wrong in my life, he would just sit and listen, he wouldn't judge me. Thats one of things I love about him, he's an excellent listener.

I'm sill lost in thought when I hear a small tapping at the window far behind me..

It's Sange, my father's owl. I tiptoe over to the window and silently open it, a pile of snow coming in after Sange. Sange is a massive owl with a snowy white belly, though the rest is midnight black, with great big lemon yellow eyes. He drops an envelope into my hands and dives out the window, back into the chilling night sky.

I sit down by the fire again and carefully open my letter

Katherine,

I've heard some intriguing news. I will be expecting some answers when I see you next.

Oh no.. he's heard something about me.. something bad.. when he hears bad things.. I get punished.

Immediatly after throwing the letter down on the ground, a great blast of black smoke comes from the letter and I'm sucked in. A portkey.

After falling through a gaping black hole and spinning around wildy, I land down on a cold stone floor, right on my back. The old man couldn't have waited two more days to talk to me huh? Only two more days until Christmas Break.

I slowly get up, I don't recognize this place, it's not my house, nor is it the place my father usually resides in.

As I dust myself off I hear a cold, bone-chilling voice behind me.. family reunion.

"Ah, Kady dear, how nice it is to finally see my only child again"

"You couldn't have waited two more damn days to talk to me?

"Shut your mouth Kady I'm not in the mood for your attitude, and though I would start taking drastic measures to fix you and your mouth I fear it's too late in your life for manors you learned in childhood to be taken away"

"Yeah well it's too late for your wrinkle cream to start kicking in" I say sneeringly.

He sighs, after a few moments of silence he finally speaks again, completely avoiding my last line.

"You had a very intimate realationship with Harry Potter, did you not Katherine?

I freeze.

How could he possibly know about Harry.. there's a spy at Hogwarts?

"I, uhm, I yeah I, uhm.." I trail off mid-sentence, my father is now doing the creepy sneer he gives to all his victims before he murders them.

"I see, now what would a deatheater like you get so friendly with Mr. Potter, so sweet, with Mr. Potter, so rebellious, with Mr. Potter"

"I've told you once and I'll tell you again, I, Katherine Gardner, am NOT a deatheater, nor will I ever be. Your actions cost me my mother and that's something I'll never forgive you for. You're a complete asshole, well you're more than that actually you're a murderer. You will rot in hell because eventually everyone dies, and you will be judged. I seriously just want to throw a toaster at you right now like that's how hyped up I'm getting"

Why do I put myself in these situations?

Voldemort screams in fury .."CRUCIO"

I fall to the ground screaming, my skin is being torched alive, my eyes are being gorged out, my organs are being yanked, my whole body is overcome with the worse pain immaginable.

I'm screaming so loud my ears are caving in by the sound of my voice, or is it just the curse playing games with my body. I'm crying, shreiking out in pain. My sobs are unstoppable.

He doesn't stop, his curse just becomes stronger by the mintue. Relentless pain for two hours straight, I mean how can he even keep his hand up for two hours. Three hours and my mind would have been fried just like Neville Longbottom's parents. Two hours of the Cruciatus Curse. My life flashes before me, all the happy memories, all the love I felt. Soon my mind begins to black out, my body collapses, I fall unconscious.

I don't know how long I've been asleep, how many days have gone by, if any at all. I awake to find myself chained to a pillar in the middle of darkness, my clothes covered in blood and many gashes still bleeding freely. My cheeks are stained with blood and tears. I'm still in the same dress I had on from last night, though it's ripped in many places and bloodstained. I have a pounding headache and my whole body is sore and shivering. I sit in silence for I don't know how long, then a door opens in front of me.

A familar face walks in.. Bellatrix Lestrange. She's never liked me, nor have I her. But we've been forced to talk to eachother countless times due to my father. She's a faithful deatheater, I am a deffiant teenager.

"Why 'ello Kady, what a sweet surprise to see you here". Her eyes gaze upon me in a seemingly joyful glance.

"How long have I been asleep for"

"Oh no, never would want to say 'ello to little old me, would ya dearie"

"How long"

"I see.. around three hours. Took quite a beating eh Kady? Chip off the old block you are"

I stay silent, refusing to talk to her anymore. She's noting but a selfish arse.

"CRUCIO" She wails without warning

I scream in pain, I scream for Draco, I scream for mercy.

After a few more seconds of the agony that fills my life, she stops and walks out shrieking with giddy laughter. I'm too shaken up to say anything else to her.

A few minutes later, the door opens again, I look up glaring, to see if anyone else has come in to torture me. Instead, I see a tall, blonde woman with an impassive expression slowly walk in. I've never seen her before, but she almost, in a strange way, looks familar.

"Hello, my name is Narcissa Malfoy, you're in Malfoy Manor right now". Her voice is filled with such sweet compassion, but a very nervous twist to it. Wait? Malfoy, as in Draco's mother? I'm in Malfoy manor?

"My son, Draco, he's in your year, but he's in Slytherin, not Gryffindor" She smiles very faintly

I weakly smile back. "Yeah, I know Draco, he's a nice boy though"

My words brighten her face, and her eyes seem to sparkle. She looks around quickly and summons a pillow. She leans it against me so my back is not cramped against the stone pillar.

"Thank you Mrs. Malfoy"

She smiles in a parental way. "Please, call me Narcissa"

"Narcissa it is" I say sweetly. She walks out of the room and carefully shuts the door behind her.

I wish she hadn't left. I really wish she had stayed, although I imagine she couldn't even if she wanted too.

It was like having a piece of Draco with me, it was almost like he was here. I feel tears slipping down my cheek again. How I wish we never blocked eachothers thoughts.


	22. Para Sempre

I'm sitting alone in the Slytherin Common room when I feel it.

I feel my stomach drop and I quickly develop nausea. It feels like something was torn away from me.. like I lost something.. but it can't be? I haven't anything to lose. Except for Kady.. but she's safe in Gyrffindor Tower, I made sure of that a couple of hours ago. It must just be the air, it's so stuffy in here, the atomosphere is always musty in the Slytherin Common room. Since its down in the cellars of Hogwarts, and the Common Room is extended into the lake, there are no windows. Why they couldn't charm some fake windows into the room is beyond me.

But why the hell do I feel so empty all of a sudden?

I'm starting to hear muffled voices in my head, becoming clearer and clearer.. one of them, deep and cold, the other one, higher and anxious. I can't make out who they are or what's happening, but the higher voice is becoming softer and I can't it it anymore after a while... than it hits me.

Sharp pain throughtout my entire body, it feels like daggers a tearing through my skin. I grip the armchair I'm sitting in and start ripping it out of a desperate relief from the pain. I fall side ways, clenching my teeth. The pain spreads throughout my body, like I'm on fire. The pain grows sharper and stronger by the minute, it seems like its never going to end.

After an eternity later, I'm on the floor shivering. The pain has subsided, but I'm shaking like crazy. I slowly look over to the clock, its five. I haven't slept one bit. My guess is that the pain is some new form of torture the Dark lord has discovered and is just using it on disapointing deatheaters. Christ does he have to make it that bad? That felt like a freaking Cruciatus curse, just a little lower key. Yes, I do know what the Crucatus curse feels like.. my father has put his beloved son through the round many, many times. I fall into the closest chair to me out of weakness, my body and my thoughts are both so worn out. I have to work on the cabinet today, only one more day until Christmas break.

Could Kady feel it? Soulmates are supposedly able to feel one anothers pain. I hope it didn't hurt as much as it did for me. The person who is getting the pain directly should be in a lot more pain that the person who feels it indirectly. I'll talk to her about it at breakfast I guess.

I stumble up to bed, collapsing onto the cool sheets. There's so much to think about, so much to worry about, but right now.. I'm so tired.. so tired.

**The Next Morning**

I walk down to breakfast alone. I don't converse with many people anymore, only close friends. My mission has overtaken my life. But if it's what has to happen for me to become respected, to become loved by my father, then I'll do it. That's all I've really wanted through out my life you know, my father to be proud of me. He treats me like I'm some kind of idiot, like I can never do anything right.

I'm right outside the Great Hall when I feel a soft tap on the back of my shoulder, I urun around to see non other than the man I am to murder. Dumbledore. He motions me to come towards him.

"Ah, Draco. Please, If it is not a bad time, I would enjoy having you come to my office, there are some issues to be discussed." My heart drops, could he have found out? Could someone have told him my mission?

Voldemort will murder me.

I nervously glance up at him, his deep blue eyes glistening down at me.

"It's okay Draco, your not in any sort of trouble" My neves calm down a bit, although I desperately wish I had Kady by my side, holding onto my arm. Where is she anyways? I haven't seen her.. and strange enough I haven't heard any of her thoughts. She's always thinking something..

"Lemon Drop" Dumbledore says to the stone gargyole, who moves swiftly, revealing a stone staircase.

I guess if he knew my mission he wouldn't be reciting his secret password right in front of me. I know he's not stupid.

I follow Dumbledore into his office. It's magnificent really, with all sorts of magical items lining the walls. A Phoenix stares me down as Dumbledore takes a seat and motions me to sit ina chair across from his.

"Pecan Pop?" He says cooly, I shake my head in decline.

He throws one into his mouth and quickly swallows before starting the conversation.

"Draco, I've become aware that you have become very close to Ms. Gardner."

A lump forms in my throat.. how the hell does he know these things. I'm silent, but I nod nervously.

"Yes, well Ms. Gardner is a very, very sweet girl, quite pretty if I do say so myself. But Draco.. has she mentioned anything.. about her family?"

Dumbledore knows.. he knows who Kadys father is too? Merlin, he seems to be on top of a lot..

"Yes, she has mentioned who her father is" I say very quietly, barely able to mutter out the words.

He nods. "Mr. Malfoy, I need you to know, that Katherine has been taken hostage by her father, the whereabouts are unknown. Though I do know that Ms. Gardner is.. well you see, Voldemort is not a kindly father, he is over- protective and very strict. So you see.. Katherine is being tortured for her recent amount of kindness to Harry Potter."

I freeze, unable to speak, unable to breath. I stare into Dumbledores face, my shock soon turning to complete panic. The world spins around me, my guts wrench 's torturing her.. he's torturing her.. at Malfoy Manor.

I can save her. God almighty make tomorrow come faster.

Dumbledore looks at me with such pity. "He won't do her any mortal harm Draco, no matter how evil he really is, he wouldn't kill his daughter"

"Headmaster, sir, I can hear her thoughts, I haven't heard anything in the past few hours"

Dumbledore looks up with great interest.

"You say you can hear her thoughts? Have ou felt any.. pain Draco?"

That pain I felt.. it wasn't me.. it was her.. Oh my god.. he was using the Cruciatus Curse on her for over two hours.

"I felt as if I was being put under the Cruciatus Curse for nearly two hours sir"

He frowns, I think I almost see a tear come and go in his eye.

"Draco, have you ever heard about Para Sempre?"

I shake my head no.

"It's one pair of soulmates in every generation that can hear eachothers thoughts, feel eachothers emotions.. and pains, one Para Sempre cannot live without the other."

This is what Kady was talking about.. Para sempre

I stand up curtly, and whirl around, towards the staircase.

"She'll be alright Draco"

I don't stop, I just keep walking.


	23. Draco and Narcissa

Yesterday was the longest day of my life.

Every minute was an hour, every hour was an eternity. I walked aimlessly around Hogwarts, not sure what I should be doing. The decorations that hung all around the castle were even more beautiful than usual, probably to supress the dark mood of the outside world. People were having snowball fights, laughing and enjoying the snow. Pansy asked me about 20 times what I had gotten her for Christmas, when truth is I didn't get her anything. Woops.

Right in front of the Great Hall, hung a magnificent ball of mistle toe. The kind that you can smell when your standing beneath it. Like evergreens and cranberries. I walked down to lunch and saw it hanging. Kady said she had never kissed anyone under Mistle Toe before, but she thought it was the best romatic way to do it. I don't know exactly why it hit me so hard, but I had to turn around and run. I just ran. I wasn't going anywhere though, just running.

And it just so happens Potter was having the same idea. We ran smack into eachother. His glasses went half way across the room. By the time I got myself together and was prepared to scream at the oaf who had just run into me, he got his glasses back on. He saw it was me and went completely ballistic. He tackled me onto the floor and started punching me in the face. I tried to push him off but he was crazy, he kept belting me in the face. Blood started to gush out of my nose and down my already pale cheeks. I felt scarhead thrust off of me and saw Weasley and that stupid mud-blood.

"Are you completely mad Potter? Get your dirty hands off me! Didn't mum teach you any manners? Or was she too busy fighting dark wizards?"

Harry was squirming like mad, trying to get away for his friends grasp.

"I hate you Malfoy, you dirty bastard. What did you do with her, where is she!"

I guess I'm not the only one looking for Kady.

In a moment of stillness I feel sorry for Potter. He and I finally share something in common, the love for a girl who's been taken from us both.

But she's mine now, and that's all that matters. I sped away from them wiping the blood from my face.

Now I'm sitting on the Hogwarts Express, heading home for the Holidays, even though they can hardly be called holdiays anymore. Everyday, filled with torture, lonliness, being forced to do actions against my own will. But thats reality, and anyone who can't accept that is going to have a horrible life. It's simple as that.

(2 Hours Later) I step of the train with my luggage and spot my mother at the end of the platform in a maroon trench coat. She's looking around timidly and keeping her head down, as usual. Our family is disgraced, not only amoung deatheaters, but all wizarding families. I walk over to her and give her a small hug. My mother is the only one who has never doubted me, never looked down upon me for my faults. She's the only person, other than Kady, who's made me feel like I'm not alone. She's like me, she's scared of the Dark Lord, she knows his capabilities. Unlike my freak aunt Bellatrix. She's just a bitch.

"Draco, sweetheart, you don't know how happy I am to see you" She says, giving me a weak smile.

I smile back, taking her heavy bag and carrying it along with my own heavy luggage.

As quickly as possible we make out way out of the station and into the gleaming black ministry car that's been prepared just for us, to spy on us.

Once we're in the car we both stay quiet. Anything we say might be used against us in the future.

It's a long journey, and I don't care for cars. Finally we're dumped at the end the long pathway that leads up to Malfoy Manor.

Now we can talk freely.

"Draco, there's a girl staying at Malfoy Manor, she told me she knew you, although shes in a different house, said you were a very nice young man. She really is a sweet girl. Although there's something you must know.."

I can hear my heart beating inside my chest. Kady's met my mum and she's at Malfoy Manor.. right now. Thank God she's somewhere I can be with her.

"The Dark Lord has a daughter.. I know" say blankly, not putting much emotion in.

"Ho- how could you know that Draco" She's now stopped walking and is staring at me, puzzled.

"She told me of course" I say, my natural sarcasm kicking in.

"Why would she tell you, you don't even know her"

"well she's uh.. I helped her in transfiguration" That is true, I really did.

"You helped her in transfiguration and she told you her family lineage? Think about what you're saying Draco"

"Okay, Okay. If you want to know the truth, she's my girlfriend" I snap.

"Your girlfriend? Are you insane Draco? First of all, what on earth would you be doing going out with a Gryffindor in the first place, and she just happens to be the Dark Lord's daughter, are you an idiot? Draco how could you do this? You know what he'll do to us if this mission doesn't work, and now if you so happen to break his daughter's heart we'll all be killed! What are you possibly thinking!" She shrieks.

"Mum would you be quiet for a second! I haven't finished what I was going to say"

She becomes quiet but her eyes watch me coldly.

"Katherine... Kady and I... we'll we're apparently Para Sempre"

Now her eyebrows lift and her eyes trun from cruel to shocked.

"How do you know this?"

"We can hear eachothers thoughts.. we can feel eachothers pain.. and it's just a feeling I have deep down inside whenever I look at her. I, I can't explain it"

She mumbles under her breath, I can barely make out the words. "my son.. in love with the Dark Lords own daughter.." She becomes silent again. "Mum?" I ask, not sure if shes okay or not.. maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell her. She slowly rises her head up again, and a wide smile brims across her face.

"Oh Draco! This is wonderul, absolutley wonderful! You've finally sound someone! Merlin's beard.. this will be just like having a daughter! A daughter of my own! Oh my god! We'll be able to share clothes, talk about men, gossip!"

Oh My God. I've never seen my mother this happy. My mother use to always talk to my father about how much she wanted a daughter. My father would constantly get upset with her for bringing the subject up, eventually, she dropped it. She even had a name picked out.. Berenices Druella Malfoy. When she knew her child-bearing days were behind her, she started talking about me getting married. I do feel bad for her though, the only girl she's close to is my Aunt Bellatrix. Let's just say my Aunt Bellatrix puts the man in woman.

"If you're Para Sempre with Katherine then we have nothing to worry about. If he does anything to you... he'll be hurting his daughter.. and I don't think he'd do anything to her.. atleast nothing we can't handle" She says.

My mother is right. We might be safe from his wrath, atleast the full impact of it.

As we turn the bend a massive mansion comes into view. The numerous towers reach up to the overcast sky like beggars reaching for food.

Home sweet home.


	24. Meeting at the Manor

Finally I'm no longer caged down like a wild animal. I have my own bedroom, bathroom, and closet.

My room is ironically the guest bedroom next to Draco's room.

I was not able to summon anything from Hogwarts, so I've been told I'll be given spare clothes while I'm staying. Narcissa left early this morning for London, in which she'll be bringing Draco back at any minute. Last night, I was able to (forced to) attend dinner/a deatheater meeting in the Manor's largest dining room. I sat at the seat next to the head of the table, where my father sits. I didn't speak, I kept quiet and didn't touch the food infront of me.

Being at that meeting made me realize something. Harry has to win this war. If he doesn't I honestly can't see a future for the world.

I now sit alone in my room, looking blankly out of the window. It's a cold, grey afternoon out, I hate this kind of weather. My long, white gown drapes around me, covering my bruised legs. My heels cover the gashes in my feet. My hair flows down, shielding the bloody cuts around my neck. I'm not moving until I hear the front door creak over, I'm not willing to move unless it's for Draco. I have no other wish than to see him.

I think I sit on my bed for hours, letting time slip by me like the wisps of wind that draw past my head on a breezy day. I let my mind wander off into different thoughts, some good, some bad, most of them are painful. Those long ago Christmases I spent on the coasts of New England, watching the snow fall over Boston Harbor.

My memories are diminshed when I finally hear the sound I've been yearning to hear all day, the door opens. I clearly hear footsteps and Narcissa's voice. I gather myself up and strut over to the door, then to the balcony. I look down, and below the silver chandelier, stands Draco. Before I can even meet his eye, he's bolting up the stairs towards me. I run to the edge of the balcony, where Draco is still sprinting in my direction.

He pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me. I feel at peace with him, like nothing could hurt me.

"I'm so sorry, he'll never touch you again, I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him" He whispers.

"It's alright Draco, I'm alright, I'm alive, I'm alright"

Now we just grasp on to eachother, like there is nothing else in the world worth pulling away from eachother for. He holds my waist tightly, while I have my arms wrapped around his back. We don't let go for a long time, but when we finally do, he looks into my eyes and kisses me softly, stroking my hair. He takes my hand, and leads me down the marble staircase, into the empty hall. We walk down what seems like endless twists and turns of grand hallways, trimmed in dark oak and green velvet. We enter a small sized living room with a roaring fireplace, it almost reminds me of the Gryffindor Common Room. Instead of Harry, Ron, and Hermoine all sitting warmly around discussing things, and me being seated next to Harry, in this room sits Narcissus Malfoy alone. She's writing something down onto a script, but when she sees us, she puts everything away.

She smiles, and ushers us to sit down in the velvet armchairs across from her.

"I know we've already met, but I think a proper introduction is in hand. Narcissa Druella Malfoy"

She hold her hand out in a warm gesture, smiling sweetly

"Katherine Stephania Grace Gardner" I reach out and meet her hand. It's cold and thin, like Draco's.

The more I look at her the more I see how much Draco really inherited from his mother. They both have the same thin platinum hair, a pointed nose and face, and their eyes are the same shade of icy blue, the kind of eyes that sends shivers through any other eyes they meet.

"Draco has told me about how you two are.. Para Sempre." She says softly. I wasn't aware Draco is so close to his mother.. he never struck me as that type of man. It's sweet though, it tells you he'll be a very good husband and an excellent father, to whom ever he marries.

"Oh, well then, that gets that out of the way" I try to make my tone of voice as sweet and amicable as possible, not wanting to give off a bad impression. She chuckles lightly and smiles again. I'm not sure what to say now.. what the hell am I suppose to say? Oh God here comes the waves of anxiety. I really have trouble meeting new people. All of a sudden, Draco cuts in.

"Mum, is there a meeting tonight?"

"Why yes, there is Draco, but the Dark Lord has given out orde- instructions that tonight we will be celebrating Christmas in the ballroom, we should dress accordingly."

He nods. That's not going to be a problem for him, he has plenty of tuxes and suits, but for me on the other hand.. all I have is this sundress type garment I've been wearing all day, all of a sudden, Narcissa's eyes glisten. "Katherine, I have so many old gowns I don't wear anymore, left over from when I was younger, I could surely give one to you, here, shall we go look now?"

"Really? That would be lovely Narcissa! Oh, and you can call me Kady, spelled with D and a Y"

I catch Draco's eye, remebering the day we first met on the Hogwarts Express.

"Draco dear, go see your father, you haven't seen him since September"

I instantly see Draco's face drop and his eyes become small and black, but he nods and walks out of the room. But not without kissing me warmly on the lips. I grasp his hand and I don't let go until it slips out of my hold when he walks away.

I follow Narcissa out of another door and down a dark, grey hallway with candles lighting the way.

"I've never seen Draco act like this before, the way he acts when he's talking about you, or when he's with you"

"I hope it's not bad" I say humorously

She laughs. "No, not even close Kady. He acts.. well I'm not sure how to explain it, but for the past couple of months, he hasn't been the same. Him being a... deatheater." She pauses, like shes thinking over some long lost feeling, but she quickly continues. "He's always tired, or anxious, he's not the little boy I used to know, but when he started telling me about you.. I swear I saw the light return to his eyes. His cheeks became rosier, his smile returned." Narcissa now takes my hand and holds it tighly, like we're mother and daughter.

"He doesn't deserve what my father puts him through, he shouldn't be going though it" I suddenly say, without even thinking. Narcissa stops, but holds my hand even tighter. She sniffles, but then she starts to cry. I lean her into my shoulder and hug her sweetly. "T-thankyou, T-thankyou f-for underst-standing" She says between sobs. I get it, she's not a deatheater, she's just as good as Draco, but because of her family, she can't do anyting about it. She has no voice.

"It's okay Narcissa, he'll get through it, you'll get through it, we all will, theres going to be a day when we all wake up and see the sun shining into our eyes, and we'll be happy"

She looks up at me now, wiping off her cheeks.

"I don't want to be too forward Kady but I realize you lost your mother when you were young and I doubt you've had anyone to fill in that hole, and not that anyone ever will but if you ever need to talk about something or ask something, I'm always here"

"I can't thank you enough" I smile.

We finally reach a great door, trimmed with gold and green marble. She opens it, and my jaw falls.

Aisles and aisles of all colored clothes, mostly dresses. The walls, lined with stories of shoes and bags. The back of the room held a great golden hanger, that is holding about forty different robes.

"Here, you sit down and I'll gather some different gowns and shoes, you look the same size as I was when I was your age, I think everything will fit perfect, and if not, well I'm not a witch for nothing!" She smiles and starts off down the largest aisle, stopping every so often to look at something. She seems like she's been wanting to do this for a long time, and trust me, I'm happy to oblige. I feel a searing pain in my arm, Oh god, Draco must be getting hurt. I'm about to get up when it stops, so I stay put, he'll be okay, nothing horrible can happen to him in is own house..

Soon enough, Narcissa comes back with her arms stuffed with all different kinds of dresses.

"Okay dear, lets go" I follow her up one of the aisles and reach a large dressing chamber.

I'm handed a dress and soon, I'm inside. The first one is a long, emerald gown with toga styled shoulders, but a form-fitting middle and a long train. I'm surprised that it fits me perfectly. I step out of the room where Narcissa is sitting patiently on a polished, wooden chair. She looks at me and her eyes grow so wide and sparkling. "Oh, Kady.. you look gorgegous." Her smile is brimming from one side of her mouth to the other. But instead of stopping, she hands me another. I try on mutliple gowns until the "one" is finally found.

It's a long, form-fitting, mermaid style off the shoulder ball gown. It's as red as the purest blood but shimmers with small crystals stiched into the fabric. I swear that when I walked out of the dressing chamber, Narcissa nearly fell off of her chair. She's so ecstatic that I'm here, and even more that I wear dresses. Narcissus takes my hand and we head down another dark hallway, this time were both dressed in gowns.

We reach the top of a long spiral staircase where I can see Draco and another blonde man standing at the bottom. I'm guessing this is Draco's father.. I think his name's Larry.

"Oh look, theres Draco and Lucius now!" Saya Narcissa, then we head down.

Lucius, not Larry. Oh well, I try.

Both Narcissa and I carefully walk down the staircase, not willing to trip over our garments. I see Draco look away from his father and up at the staircase, his eyes grow wide and his smile brims. Lucius turns around to see what he's looking at and flinches at the sight of his wife.

"Lucius dear, this is miss Katherine Gardner, the Dark Lords daughter, as he may have told you"

He does not smile, but merely nods and reaches his hand out, I shake it daintly.

"Narcissa, we're all waiting for you, since you took so long to get ready, the meeting has started.. without us."

The person I knew for the past few hours instantly disapears, and the woman who is to obey her husband at all costs shows up.

"I-I'm sorry Lucius, lets hurry than we don't want to be too late."

Lucius reaches out for Narcissa's arm, while Draco reaches out for mine. Draco takes me and sweeps me off my feet, bringing me in for a cashmere soft kiss. I embrace his lips, wishing I could stay there longer, but not now, I have to pull away..

When I finally do, I look him straight in the eye, those gorgeous grey-blue eyes.

"You look beautiful.. in my mothers dress" He says, a playful smirk across his pained face, making him seem like the boy he used to be.

"Your mother has exceptional taste Draco, I don't know what happened with you.. they're must have been a glitch in the line" I say, laughing mid-sentence. He laughs back. "Oh really? I don't recall ever hearing a purebloods line getting glitched" He puts his arm around my waist and we start off down the dark, candle lit hallway towards the ball room, where the deatheater meeting is starting.


	25. Cowards

The doors creak open, the dim light hits my eyes, and I'm now face to face with a room bursting with deatheaters, and standing in the midst of them all, towering over they're greasy heads, is the Dark Lord himself. I feel Kady take a small step back, but theres no backing out now. I lightly push her forward with my arm thats wrapped around her waist. I try to grab her hand in support, but she slips it out of my grasp.

"Late are we? Lucius.. where are your manners?" Voldemort speaks, the sarcastic hatred in his voice filling the room. Before my disgraced father can even answer, Kady speaks up.

"Father, don't blame the Malfoys, it was me who was late. I took too long in getting ready and they were only polite enough to wait for me.. if anyone should be punished.. it's me."

She's taking the blame? Why would she do that, she's never even met my father before, let alone vouched for him to the Dark Lord. I know that Voldemort won't kill her, but I know he'd hurt her.

It takes a long time for Voldemort to answer, he's just looking at Kady, looking her up and down, I guess trying to decide what to say. Finally, he speaks.

"Taking the blame are you? I see your quite close to the Malfoy family already, particuarly Draco are you not? Jumping from one man to another sweetheart, how rambuctious, how _slutty_" At this point, a wide, evil smirk is spreading across his face. All of a sudden, I feel Kady's body rip out of my grip. She walks up to Voldemort with her finger pointing at him, her face bearing an expression of solem anger.

"Don't you dare talk to me like, accuse me of being a slut? You're the one with the issues! You're the one whose been _alone_ for over fifteen years, you disgusting bastard" She screams. I can see her chest heaving up and down, her face still showing aggresion. Gasps spread throughout the room, "you blood traitor whore!" My aunt Bellatrix shouts. The Dark Lords face remains frozen, completely expressionless.

"No wonder my mother left you" Kady pants.

It's his last straw. "You unworthy skank." He whispers, then, before I can do anything, Voldemort is using the Cruciatus curse on his own daughter. Kady isn't screaming in pain, put whimpering and sobbing on the cold stone floor. Now the pain begins to fill my bones aswell, but I keep it as hidden as possible. My mother looks at me, she knows I can feel it.

Before I can stop myself, I scream at the top of my lungs. "STOP"

Everyone turns towards me, Voldemort looks up and draws his wand into his robes. Kady lays silent, but still shaking. "Draco.. no" I hear my mother whisper behind me. Instead, I step nearer to where Kady lies.

"D-don't hurt her.. do it to me instead."

A feeling of pure dread falls over me. To be standing face to face with Voldemort is terrifying beyond words, this man has killed countless innocents. He doesn't know that Kady and I are Para Sempre, he could kill me right here, right now. I swallow my fear and stand perfectly still, perfectly calm. I'm tired of being a coward, this is for the girl I love. It's time to put others before myself.

Voldemort throws his head back in laughter, and soon he and the entire room are erupting with glee, other than my parents. The laughter annoys me, I'm not a stupid boy, I'm a man sacrificing himself for the one he loves. That's more bravery than any of these cowards will ever show in their entire life. My aunt Bellatrix is wiping joyful tears from her eyes when she yells out, "raised a wuss did you Cissy?" Then she starts to cackle again. Then, just as I feared, The Dark Lord speaks.

"My young man, torture is not something to be traded. You shall learn this lesson as you get older. I admire your courage, though I laugh upon your complete foolishness. All the love in the world is not worth five minutes of torture. Though in this case, I'll accept your plea.. only because it's my daugter we're talking about. Don't expect my mercy the next time Draco _Malfoy"_

I take a deep breath and the last thing I hear is a small cry though I can't whether it's Kady or my mother.

Then.. It comes.

I fall to the floor screaming, shaking in agony. I'm losing all awareness of my surroundings, I can barely make out the faint cry of a woman yelling. It feels like twenty giants are yanking all of my limbs off, and that my body is on fire at the same time. Knives are being dug into my chest, my neck being turned around completely. I can vaguely make out a dark figure leaning beside me, and then a light sweep of relief, like someones holding me. The worse the pain, the darker my world becomes.

Darker..darker...darker..

~Kadys Point of View~

Why am I so stupid? I thought it was the right thing ot do, taking the blame! But now I'm here on the floor in the midst of hundreds of deatheaters, wrapping my arms around a screaming Draco Malfoy. I can feel the aching in myself aswell, but that doesn't matter now, the only thing that matters is stopping Dracos pain. Oh God, this is all my fault. But why did he have to do that? The stupid man, why'd he have to sacrifice himself for me, I'm not worth it.

I look around and see Narcissa huddling into Lucius, her eyes hidden in his chest. I see many of the deatheaters just staring aimlessly at me, some are grinning, some are even laughing at this innocent mans pain.

That's it, I'm taking control of this. I grab my wand from inside the seams of my dress and before anyone can do anything, I hex my father, his wand goes flying, he does aswell. Draco stops shaking. Almost like they're reading my mind, Narcissa and Lucius come and take Draco's limp body from Voldemort's view. I take my wand and stand up, waiting for the worst.

I'm going to fight him as long and as hard as he wants, he will never hurt Draco again. I stand tall, my back straight, my head high in the air. My father is screaming at the deatheaters who had gone to his aid, but apparently he's too great for any help. He locks me in his gaze, and fires a ball of black mist at me. I duck quickly and it passes centimeters over my head.

"Crucio!" I scream. I don't give a damn if it's unforgivable or not, my father needs a taste of his own medicine. My father falls to the ground shaking. Deatheaters rush at me, but he shakily commands to leave the room. He intends to finish it alone then? Hm, good luck to this unlucky sack.

I watch my father wriggle in pain. This if for all the innocent souls he's killed, this is for all the familys he's ripped apart. This is for my mother. This is for Harry, Ron, and Hermoine. This is for Draco.

This is for all the people of the world, since I'm the only one who dares give Voldemort what he needs.

The room is all empty now, only my father and I remain.

"If you ever, I mean ever, hurt Draco Malfoy again, I swear on my mother's soul you will suffer." I lower my wand, leaving my father breathing heavily on the floor. He's silent. I turn around and begin to walk out of the room, off to find out where Draco is, leaving my coward of a father on his knees, though I don't know if it's the pain or the shame that keeps him there.


	26. Christmas Eve

I run down the endless corridors, passing numerous rooms. I check each one, with no luck. I'm desperatley finding my way around Malfoy Manor, trying to find where Draco's been brought. I had no chance to see where Lucius and Narcissa had brought him, I had been to busy fighting my father. They surely brought him somewhere where he could be partially safe from Voldemort, who would no doubt take his anger out on Draco.

Why am I so stupid? God help me, I can't do a damn thing right. It's always something I mess up, always something. But why, why did Draco have to do that for me? I would have been fine.. Why not have just been put in Gryffindor then, huh? I could never thank him enough, but he doesn't have to play hero, it'll get him killed for godsakes.

Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into what seems like hours, and still no luck. I'm about to give up hope when I hear something. It's most likely a pissed deatheater, but I take my chances and cautiously turn the corner. It's Narcissa. She's got her back turned to me, but I can clearly make out the quick movements of her shoulders, indicating to me she's crying.

"If thats you Bella, turn around right now, I will _not_ talk to you"

"No, it's me.. Kady"

She pauses for a moment then quickly turns around to face me. Her eyes are red and bloodshot. Oh god, this is all my fault.. I feel my own eyes water up and a large lump forms in my throat.

"N-narcissa, I'm so sorry, I, I never meant to hurt him.. I would rather die than hurt him" I let out a sob. Tears are streaming down my face, but I don't care, I don't care about anything anymore it seems like.

Narcissa runs over to me and cradles me in her arms, trying to be strong, but I can still feel her crying hard. I hear her trying to mumble soothing words in between cries, but I can't make out any of them. Finally, she pulls herself together, and so do I.

"Dear, it's not your fault, you didn't do-do anything except try to help our family, if anyone should be blamed, it's me.. I took to long."

"No, it's not your fault, it's my fathers, he's always the one to ruin things" I say quickly, trying not to let her think it was all her fault. A terrified look overcomes her face, I forgot I'm the only one in this place who criticizies Voldemort. I try to smile, but I'm sure it came off weakly.

"I suppose you'd like to see Draco now, wouldn't you?"

I nod immediatly.

She looks around quickly and leads me down one of the long, medieval looking hallways packed with portraits of long passed Malfoys. She stops suddenly, but I didn't hear anything? Why is she stopping.. Oh wait. She bends down and open a small hole from under the carpet, a long stair-well leads down from the top of the hole. "The password is Emeralds Head, just go down the stairs, it's the only door on the left"

I start down the stairs so she can close the door over me. As soon as she does, a blinding green turns on.

"Password" Says a deep, disgruntled voice.

"Emeralds Head" I say shyly. The light turns off, and I'm faced with a ladder leading down into a dark, abyss like hole. Malfoy Manor has it's own abyss? Boy does this family have money.

I take a few steps down, but instead of a hole, a vague hallway appears. How did they get Draco's unconscious body down here? Anyways, I start to walk in the hallway. Both doors on the right are locked, but the one on the left is ajar.

For a second, I think of running away, scared of what I might see, but if Draco's in there, there's no way I'm not going in.

Silently, I open the door. It's very dark, but a dim light shows the vague image of a wardrobe, bed, and Draco.

I rush over to the bed, but to my dismay, Draco is either still unconscious or asleep. I hope he's dreaming, of somewhere better than here. Somewhere where he can't get hurt, and theres only endless blue skies and meadows filled with tall, green grass. Somewhere where the sun never gets hidden by dark clouds. Draco's face is expressionless, they're no color anywhere. His cheeks are white as ocean foam, his lips are so pale, they look like ice. A few strands of hair a hanging on his burning forehead, and his eyelids are shut, no longer giving off the awe of his deep, grey blue eyes. He almost looks... dead. If it wasn't for how hot he felt, one might assume he actually is.

I kneel down on the bedside and grasp his hand, never going to let go. I lean over and put my head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat eases me at once.

Tears flood my eyes but I'm tired of crying so I hold them in. I just lay there and close my eyes and feeling the warmth of Draco. I know that he's been a terrible person in the past, I've heard enough talk to know how mean and down right nasty he can be. I know that was his choosing and I don't respect him for that at all, he's cruel to my friends. All I can do is look past the damage that was done in the years before I came here and try to mend the little that's left. As for Draco being a deatheater, although I hate the fact that he is and I wish he would have stood against the pressure, he really didn't have a choice. What was he going to do, say no and see his mother and father be killed in front of him knowing that it was his fault, and to then see the point of a gnarled wand turn his way and take his last breath staring the fatal green light in the face? He was scared, he still is. He doesn't deserve that terrible fate that's been thrust at him.

I gather up my strength and stand up, still grasping his hand. I lay down on the bed next to him and wrap my one arm around his chest. All of a sudden, I hear footsteps. They come closer and closer, the door creaks open. My heart is beating fast now, I pretend to be asleep. The person who's looking in does not enter the room, but merely sniffles and shuts the door again. It must have been Narcissa, she's the only one that wouldn't have ruined this moment. We're alone once again.

There are no windows, so I don't know the time, but it's only been a few hours, it can't be past eleven. I feel Draco's body twitch softly.

I look up at his face, and sure enough, his eyes are slit open. I stare into them for a long time, waiting for something to happen, honestly I'm not sure if Draco is awake or not. Then suddenly..

"Is this a dream?" He whispers, his voice so soft I can barely hear him. I don't want to ruin this, I don't want the pain to return to him. "Yes" I say quietly, then I close my eyes and slowly kiss his cold lips, just light enough so he can feel them. I can feel his lips tingling in return to the sensation, and I can tell he's trying to lift his arm up to hold me, but he's just to.. weak. After a few seconds, I look back up. His eyes are closed again, his breathing becomes slower and deeper. I hold his hand tighter and lay right next to him, giving off some of my body heat to his ice cold one.

Here I am on Christmas Eve, the holiest night of the year. I lay clinging to the only thing I have left in my life, clinging to my source of joy and hope. The room is as cold as the winter snow outside, but Draco and I are so near to eachother that we can't feel anything but heat. I adjust my position and feel something hard under me. I reach into the deep pocket of my ballgown and find a little box, it's Draco's Christmas present, the one I was going to give him tonight.

It's a striking silver watch encrusted with emeralds. I was going for the Slytherin color theme, pretty original if you ask me.

"Merry Christmas Draco" I whisper, leaning in to kiss his forehead.

I shut my eyes, hopefully I'll be able to go to sleep. I lay Draco's hand, with mine still enclosed in it on his chest. I begin to let my mind fade away.


	27. Undoing the Lie

"Thump... thump... thump"

What the hell is that?

I lift my head up and look around, then it all comes back. I fell asleep last night on Draco Malfoy's chest and his heartbeat woke me up. I rub my eyes slowly and turn over to the old fashioned grandfather clock. It's around eight in the morning. As I get off the bed, I don't realize I still have my gown on from last night and trip, right smack dap onto the cold floor. Dammit, I think I cracked a bone in my hip. Painfully, I stand back up again. I look over my shoulder, and to my surprise, Draco is sitting up too.

"What was that?" He says, his voice cracks mid-sentence.

"I.. fell"

"Oh.. your okay then?"

"Yup, just fantastic" I snap. I barely got any sleep last night and when that happens I turn into a monster.

I guess he senses the sarcasm in my voice, cause he doesn't say anything else.

"The real question Draco, is whether your alright or not." I say, speaking of the fact that he collapsed under the Cruciatus curse last night and was unconscious until a few minutes ago. Draco doesn't answer me, he just turns his head and refuses to look at me, but I can see the outer edges of his sunken cheeks, and they're scarlet.

"Draco.."

"what?" He snaps, his voice fuming with irritation, mirroring mine. I was just asking whether he was alright or not, someone kill me for trying to be caring.

"Trying Kady? Trying? You don't really care?" He says suddenly.

Wait.

I just thought that, I know I didn't say it. He said he blocked my thoughts, how can he be hearing them then? Unless he was lyi-... No freaking way.

"Draco. You said you blocked my thoughts"

He doesn't answer me right away, his cheeks are white again.

"How'd you know what I thought if you _blocked _my thoughts?"

Still no answer.

"Draco, give me a damn answer"

He sighs deeply, then finally says something.

"I lied."

That's it. That's all he says.

"You've got to be kidding me" I sputter

I don't even know if he turned around or not, I just ran out of the room. Stumbling up the ladder, throwing open the secret door. The hallway was as deserted as it was last night. I don't stop. I keep running, running down the hallways like a maniac. Where the hell is my room? Finally, after getting some directions from some guy named Peter Pettigrew, I reach my room. It's a wonder I didn't trip in my dress and heels and kill myself.

That son of a bitch. How _could _he? That's just perverted, how dare he do this to me. He really is a lousy jerk, just like everyone told me. This could have all been avoided if I had just stuck to what I had. I could be having a real Christmas with real friends at the Weasley's but instead I'm at Malfoy Manor with Draco Malfoy who turns out to be an asshole. Seriously, I can't believe this.

~Draco's Point of View~

I woke up this morning, and I was instantly in a terrible mood. I had a pounding headache, and my whole body was still shaken up.

What kind of a guy am I then? I'm a coward. I fainted right in front of my girlfriend. Kady didn't even pass out while she was under the Cruciatus Curse, but of course I did. That's the reason I got so.. embarrased when she asked me whether I was all right. But I just _had_ to let slip that I've been listening to her thoughts, then I absolutley had to make no effort at all not apologize, right? I'm, now officialy the biggest prat in the world. I'm a coward for giving into Voldemort's every word, I'm a complete jerk by lying to Kady like that and now I'm.. I'm alone. Alone at a time when I need a friend the most.

I can't lose her, I can't fucking lose her. I've got to make this right, I've got to say something to her, I just let her run out of the room and didn't even follow her.. I can' t lose her.

I'm about to get up when something hard pricks me in the back. It's a box with a note attached.

_To Draco,_

_God knows you're always on time but appreciate the color scheme. Merry Christmas, I love you._

_Kady_

I open it up and there's an expensive looking watch gleaming back up at me.

I jump off the bed and sprint down the underground hallway. I blast the secret opening up, not even bothering to check whether or not anyone is up in the hallway. I'm lucky, it's deserted. Although I had hoped Kady would be here. I sprint down the grand hallway, towards the room with the silver chandelier, where my room is, and the room Kady is staying in is. The stairs have never seemed so long, they look like they will lead straight up to heaven. I scream her name as I race up the stairs, but my agony is met with silence.

I reach the top, I'm breathless, but that doesn't stop me from screaming her name and banging on her door. I try to open it, desperatley try to open it, but it's locked.

"Alohomora" My wand casts a strange glow onto the doorknob. Nothing happens.

Shit.

"Kady! Let me in, I can explain!"

"Explain this asshole!" she yells. All of a sudden a zap of light flies out from under the door and hits me directly in the foot, knocking me off balance.

Well if I can't go in .. I have to get someone who can.

I head back into my room and sit on the edge of my bed. I'm going to summon my house elf, and have it enter Kady's room for me. But I won't have it apologize for me.. that would be extremely prat-like. Wait a second.. it's Christmas, Christmas Morning. I have Kady's gift in my drawing cabinet by the window in a small red box. That's it, I'll have the house elf deliver my gift.

"Oakey, I'm in need of assistance" I croak. A loud crack, and my house elf Oakey is standing in front of me.

"Young Master Malfoy, your eyes, they're bloodshot and watering, your shaking Master, I must get you some soup" Oakey pipes up, in her unusually high voice.

"No, I'm in no need of that terrible liquid you give me, how dare you even call it soup. I need, Oakey, for you to deliver something to a girl in the guest room next to mine. Make sure she opens it, and watch her expression when she sees what it is. Tell me exactly what happened when you return."

"Oh yes, Master Draco, right now. And I'll be sure to fix my sou-"

"Go already!" I scream, angry at Oakey obsession over getting me soup.

The next second, Oakey is gone, with the small red box.

~Kady's Point of View~

I hear a loud snap and almost jump out of my skin. I look around the room, and there before me stands a grain colored house elf in a small rag.

"Hello Miss. I'm here delivering a package from Master Draco. He demands me to see upon you that it is opened." The elf squeaks.

Draco's just not going to give up is he?

The house elf hand me a small red box tied with a golden bow. After it's in my hand, the elf just stands there. I know house elves, and they won't stop until their mission is complete, I have no choice but to open it. I unwrap it a slowly as possible. My guess is Draco is waiting for the elf to come back, so I'll make him wait. I stop mid-way through the bow.

"So.. whats your name?" I say to the elf, who has a surprised expression on it's face.

"Young miss speaks to Oakey.. nicely" The elf whispers, whom I belive is named Oakey now.

"Of course I'm going to be nice to you, I bet I'm the only one in the house who's nice."

This time, Oakey goes a little odd.

"Oakey must not speak ill of the great Malfoy family! Oakey proud to serve the noble family! The pristine line of pure-blooded Malfoys are most kind to Oakey!" Oakey screams.

"Oh I'm sure they are Oakey" I say quietly, returning to my gift.

"Oakey senses you have a relative in the house Miss, is Oakey speaking truth? Are you part of the great Malfoy family miss?" She says suddenly. I've always heard house elves have strong magical powers, like being able to tell whom someone is.

I laugh, the thought someone thinks I'm related to the Malfoys is a bit funny actually.

"Oh no Oakey, although I'm friends with Narcissa Malfoy. My only relation in this house is Voldemort, he's my father you see." I say casually, like we're having a normal conversation about the weather.

Oakey gasps. She stumbles, then falls to the floor in a deep bow.

"Oakey is at Misses service, Oakey pledges all loyalty to Miss, Oakey is born to obey miss. Oakey will obey every command given by Mistress... He-WHo-Must-Not-Be-Named."

So apparently the Malfoys don't have full command over there household do they? Any house elf of the Malfoys is a house elf of my father.

"Oh.. okay then.." I say, slightly uncomfortable from the situation, I've never had a house elf before.

"And Oakey, it's Kady, Kady Gardner.

Oakey looks at me, then at the presnt, then back at me, then back to the present. I guess she wants me to open it then.. just too scared to give commands.

I finally reach the inside of the little red box. I open it carefully, my mouth drops.

There, sitting in the red box on a silk cushion, is a glittering necklace. It's royal style, with rows of diamonds connecting to eachother like a chandelier. In the center of all the diamonds sits a tiny silver snake, and a golden lion. The two creatures are facing eachother, and in the space between them, in the tiniest writing I've ever seen, is the sentence _Youthfullness_ _fades, the love I have for you will never._

I read it over and over again, taking in every word. I reach inside and take the necklace out, handling it as if it were a fragile sheet of ice. I place it to my neck, but I don't tie it. I close my eyes and just hold it to my neck and let it soak in the heat.

"Beautiful Mistress Gardner, do you like?" squeals Oakey. I re-open my eyes.

I ignore her. Whatever I say she'll tell Draco.

"Oakey, I have a job for you, you must do it before you return to Dra- I mean the Malfoys." I don't wish to say his name right now.

"Anything Miss"

"I want you to deliver this to my father, it's my Christmas gift.

Oakey gasps for air and drops on her knees shaking.

"He won't hurt you Oakey, my authority always comes before his. Now please dear, take it."

Oakey takes the jar of pickles, the is gone with a loud crack.

Right after she leaves a wave of guilt washes over me, I pray I didn't just send Oakey to her death.


	28. Early Departure

I sit leaning on the headboard of my bed. I'm calmed by the softness of the comforter, I lay immersed in it's clean scent, breathing in and out so slowly. I just sent Oakey to deliver my Christmas gift to my father, and I'm now alone again. All my things have already been brought into my room, so I'm finally able to change out of my gown. Some plain black jeans and a white tee shirt.

I'm trying to let my mind wander off as much as possible, from my clothing, to the weather, to my homework I have to finish by next week. I try to let my mind wander because it distracts me from the pains of my life. I run my hand over my other arm, the hexes of my previous torture has made outlines and vague scars. I'll have to get the directions for that spell to get rid of them. You know, sometimes I wonder what would happen if I ever died. If something went wrong, like a rogue spell or my father just went to far, what would happen? To all my friends, to my possesions, even to Draco. What would become of him? Who would I leave my wealth to, all the jewels and gowns in my Gringotts vault lay untouched, undisturbed. If I was to die this very minute, just pass away in my thoughts, I'd want to have my body layed in a coffin filled with roses. I wouldn't want to be buried, I'd be thrown into the ocean. To sink in the endless deep, to be surrounded by calm waters. Thats what I want. But fortunatley, I'm not going to die anytime soon.

The sun moves position and is directly glowing into my eyes. Before I go blind by light, I lift myself of the large bed, and onto the polished floor. A loud crack appears, and Oakey is standing in front of me once more. Phew, she didn't die.

"Mistress Gardner, Oakey delivers gift from Dark Lord" She lays out her wrinkled hands, holding a long box.

"Thank you, go as you want" I say, and Oakey disappears.

It looks like a box meant to hold a wand, but I don't have any need for a new wand, my 13" inch Willow with a Phoenix feather core is perfectly fine for me. I progress to open it, preparing myself for a dementor to pop up. Instead, a blindingly shiny silver blade lays before me. Theres a red snake going up the handle with diamond eyes. Etched into the snake are the words

miña querida

estamos fortes

unha familia

It translates to My Dear We stand strong One family in Galic or at least that's my best translation of it.

What he would want to get me a dagger for, I have no idea. Although in technical terms, it's most likely to come in handy.

I embed the dagger back into its box and stuff it in the bottom of my trunk.

Beside my trunk, there lay a few more wrapped boxes. I hadn't noticed them before, they must be Christmas gifts from others in the Manor.

The first ones tag reads from Narcissa and Lucius. I open it and find a golden quill. It's a special kind, expensive I'm guessing for you don't have to write with it, it just hears words and copys them down, perfect or lectures. Then a pair of Colette's Specialty Walk on Shoes. Walk and hard and fast as you wish and never feel a footache! Most likely from Narcissa, not Lucius. I open the other boxes, most of them from random deatheaters trying to gain my friendship, trying to gain protection from Voldemort. I even get one from Bellatrix. I open it as carefully as possible, I know something is going to come out and attack me. Sure enough, as soon as I get half-way through the lid, a full size dementor bursts out. But to Bellatrix's stupidity, she did not realize that I was one of the top people on the Dementors list of neutral people from my father. Yeah I know demetors are said not to be able to be told who to kill or not but my father is Voldemort and he has his doesn't prevent me from falling under a dementors aroma of fear and depression.

The chill in the air is terrible, almost indescribable. Think of standing in a graveyard on an overcast January day with no clothes on, looking down at the grave of someone you love. That's what having a dementor near you feels like.

"Expecto Patronum" I scream as strongly as I can.

A transparent shark appears out of my wand, chasing away the lone dementor. Soon, it disappears as well.

I put all my gifts where I put the blade and close my trunk.

I hear a timid knock on my door, but it doesn't sound like Draco's usual banging.

"Dear are you in there?" Comes Narcissa's voice.

"Yes, I'm here" I respond. "Are you alone?" I add.

"Yes, I'm alone. Your father has summoned you"

Oh shit.

I slowly approach the door, trying to hear any sort of sound that might be Draco, having his mother open the door for him.

To my relief, it's just Narcissa. We head down the stairs together and towards a large set of doors. They open themselves, and I go in. Narcissa does not follow me, so I'm figuring this is just going to be us.

The doors close with an awful bang. We're alone.

"Happy Christmas Katherine"

"Merry Christmas" I mumble.

"Yes, I know, last night did not go so well" He says, no ounce of love in his voice.

"Really? Did you just figure that out?"

He looks at me, his eyes becoming increasingly narrow.

"You have no respect for me" He says suddenly.

"I don't respect murderers."

He doesn't say anything now, just simply looks away from me.

"Did you get my gift?" Now he's just completely avoiding the subject.

"Yes, the dagger was very nice. Thank you. Did you get mine?" I say, smirking.

"Yes, I did. I put them in my room to have later"

I laugh, just the idea of him eating pickles late at night when everyones asleep cracks me up really bad.

"What's so funny?" He says, a rare smile coming across his face, a genuine smile.

"Oh, nothing"

I walk up to where he's sitting and take the seat next to him. He takes my hand and holds it very tight.

"You know, no matter how I act, your the only person I'll ever be there for" He says, his voice seeminlgy warm.

The chances of that seem very slim, but I won't cause another conflict.

"..I know"

"Your lying to me, aren't you?"

I should have known he'd catch my lie, he's very talented at doing it.

"It's hard to belive your going to be there for me when you hurt me" I say quietly, cause thats the real truth. How can he be there for me when he hurts me?

He doesn't answer me, but just grips my hand tighter. Wow, he has long fingernails. Whats that all about?

"Hey can I paint your nails?"

"No"

"What if it's just clear, so they won't be protruding, but they'll look nice"

"No"

"I think I will"

Really though, they're crazy. He really needs to take better care of himself.

"Whats wrong with you?" He whispers. Thats a good question.

"A lot" I say smiling. He laughs and nods his head, still avoiding my eye contact.

"How are you with... Draco"

The wind leaves my lungs, and I all of a sudden feel dizzy.

"Uhm.. good." I know he'll catch my lie, but I'm not going to tell him what happened, he might do something.. drastic.

"Really, Katherine, has he done something to you?"

Oh shoot, he's going to find out. Oh God...

"Nope"

"If you don't tell me I'll kill that woman you like in the dungeons, Susan Bones, the ministry worker" He sneers. My own father, putting murder on my shoulders.

"You would kill her anyways, I'm not stupid"

Silence.

"I'll obliviate her memory, I swear. Now just tell me Katherine".

"Why do you care? you never cared before" I say, pushing up from my seat.

I storm away from him, but the room is elongated, and it's still a few more steps to the door.

"Imperio" He snarls.

I can hear voices in my head.. his voice..

Stop walking, your being commanded to stop walking..

tell what he did to you.. you must tell me...

No.

No.

No. I won't.

I put my focus on just getting out of the room, just get out of the room..

I take one step, then another. Searing pain enters my body, but I keep walking.

He'll never control me, he can't.

I reach the door and slam it behind me. I hear his wand drop to the floor.

I notice something dripping onto the floor, blood.

My resistance of the curse backfired a little, and I have gashes in my arm. I seriously need to get that spell for scars though, this is ridiculous.

I pick up my pace and turn the corner, Narcissus is standing there.. with Draco.

When Narcissa see's me, her face drops dramatically, but Draco stands like a stone.

"Are-are you alright dear?" She says.

"I need to go to my room" I say quickly, avoiding being near Draco at all costs.

She nods, but I see her catch Draco's eye. She turns around and walks away. Yet Draco stays.

"Kady..." He mutters.

"What" I snap.

He pauses, unsure of what to do next.

"... You're bleeding.." He says quietly.

"Really? Would have never known"

Now his lips curl, and a snarl comes clear across his face.

"You don't have to be such a bitch you know" He says looking me in the face.

"Of course I don't have to. I'd rather be a bitch than a fucking pushover, I don't want to talk to you, get near you, I don't want to see you. I'm leaving Malfoy Manor tonight. Merry Christmas you lying jerk."

I push past him, the sensation of his body against mine sending chills down my spine that I quickly dismiss and continue down the hall. Yes, that's it, I'm leaving Malfoy Manor tonight, as soon as I get back to my room. I don't know where I'll go, probably just some dinky motel in London, but thats better than here.

Oh and while I'm at it I'll rescue the prisoners in the basement.


End file.
